I Got Really Pissed Off

I just had a huge blow up with my mother. I do have a hostory of mental health issues, and that does play in here. I have been dealing with some BS related to my futurue for about a year now. The past few days I admit, I let it get to me. My poor friends know this. After talking to some of them I called my mom, wanting to share what I'm learning about plan B for my life. We

We start a conversation, then I get upset and am crying, trying to focus on my breathing.

She continues to play devil's advocate.

I let her know that is not helpful for me right now.

She claims I am being defensive and she is helping me see reality (essentially)

Something upsets me again, and I ask her to please, just listen. Just let me say whatever I am feeling.

Her comment is that is not really helpful to me, because I can't let myself get to this point all the time.

And how it's not fair to her for me to tell her she needs to stop talking. . (I ask politely)

And if she can't talk, than neither should I be able to. We did not finish the conversation. She had things to talk with me about. But she realized it was not the time.
(Yes, my mental illnesses came up.... yes I am being treated...)

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Pop0159 · 61-69, M

Stand your ground and focus on your points and needs ... ... Your mothers comments only have such power over you is because you allow her to .... You need to learn to let her comments roll off and not upset you or divert you from what you want to say .. ..

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Pop0159 · 61-69, M

@Eeyore122: in the end the goal is for you to control your own destiny and provide for yourself .. .. No road in life is easy and your challenges are yours and yours alone to face and concur .. .. .. don't be afraid to ask for and accept help that moves you forward towards that goal .. ..

Bullying only happens because you fear the immediate threat of pain or humiliation more then the long term dammage it may do .. .. if you don't let the bully change your mood, actions, or goals he or she will quickly loose all power .. ..

Eeyore122 · 36-40, F

I haven't stopped the goal... experienced a legal form of discrimination, backed by someone I trusted to look out for me. I raised some polite heck and am promised changes.

Pop0159 · 61-69, M

@Eeyore122: well stay strong, keep moving forward, and before you know it you will be where you want to be .. ..

Picklebobble · 56-60, M

So the unresolved issue re: the future is the villain of the peace !
Is the issue yours to decide or is it in the hands of others ?
Why does the future hold so much worry ?
Are you able to talk to a therapist/treating physician all that is on your mind ?

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Eeyore122 · 36-40, F

ahahahahahaha no. This is Here is what we say you will do in order to be able to student teach next fall or Spring. ( But we don't have the whole process in writing for you, until you try to start it.) I had some bad situations consecutively in practicuums. Now I am trying to get into a class they say I have to take, on time. Fun, fun. Why do you find this interesting, by the way

Picklebobble · 56-60, M

@Eeyore122: Sorry! Wasn't deliberately being intrusive.
It's just that your post was a little cryptic.
I wondered if you were in hospital or maybe even in the services somewhere which is why you weren't giving much away in terms of info.

Eeyore122 · 36-40, F

[b] No worries, I just didn't expect people to be interested in the underlying issue of the argument. And it is beaurocratic BS- could be deliberate, could be no deliberate. I was getting really sick of it after a year ish of BS. I do at least have a job due to some of the BS. [/b]

Aspies19

Humm sounds like what you needed was someone to vent to but that didn't really happen with that phone call to your mother.

RobinPhoenix · M

I am sorry to hear, you had such a bad, stressful conversation with your mother as you asked for help, advice and support. I hope, in the meantime, the situation is more clear for you now.

Eeyore122 · 36-40, F

[b][b][b][c=#BF0080]Thanks. Yes, Mom and I get along fine, or it goes like the story above, or worse. Things are clearer. Now I wait 4 weeks till after break. Probably 5 till I talk to professor who assigns me a school for field. And pray 7 weeks is sufficient time to get me assigned, have a visit, and solve any problems ahead. While simultaneously, assigning schools to 20 some able-bodied peers. They promised me it will be ok. But I have reason to be suspicious of their claims.

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