I would like to shave my head
I am at the doctor’s office with my patient and I’m thinking seriously about shaving my head. I’m hurt really badly. Tears are falling almost behind my mask and I can’t let the nurses there see me. My patient is very quiet and I don’t know what to say to her, as we’ve talked some while I was at her apartment. She is waiting to see the doctor. I’m begging God for His mercy, I am not in a peaceful state of mind at all, I am very close to going home and shaving my head. I am not happy. I am very lonely and I’m getting no feedback and no help. I have no one to converse with and everything is a pill on my tongue, I am not going to my psychiatrist on the 23rd because I’m hurt, I don’t think it serves any purpose when that’s not the kind of help that I need when my foster mother’s Russian boyfriend’s family drugged me to have mental illness and her hacker brother in India hacks my hospital test results and scans to prove that I am physically normal when I’m having seizures and my foster mother’s Russian boyfriend’s family’s voices echo in my head all day long being that I have the seizures.
God, you won’t help me, law enforcement won’t help me, what the hell do you want me to do? You think I can perform miracles? I can’t even commit suicide for fear that it might be a failed attempt and that they may put me in the psych ward and diagnose me with schizoaffective disorder when my foster mother’s Russian boyfriend’s family drugged the baked bbq chicken that I made a week ago and I’m going crazy, I started to get really irritated, gradually. I feel like lashing out. The baked bbq chicken I remembered was SO waterlogged after I microwaved it and I hardly paid any attention to it. Today, luckily for my antipsychotic antidepressant medications, I am able to function because these Russians keep on drugging me and my foster mother’s hacker brother in India hacks my hospital test results and scans to prove that I’m just mentally unstable and that nothing is physically wrong with me so that people could hurt and belittle me and take advantage of me...
God, you won’t help me, law enforcement won’t help me, what the hell do you want me to do? You think I can perform miracles? I can’t even commit suicide for fear that it might be a failed attempt and that they may put me in the psych ward and diagnose me with schizoaffective disorder when my foster mother’s Russian boyfriend’s family drugged the baked bbq chicken that I made a week ago and I’m going crazy, I started to get really irritated, gradually. I feel like lashing out. The baked bbq chicken I remembered was SO waterlogged after I microwaved it and I hardly paid any attention to it. Today, luckily for my antipsychotic antidepressant medications, I am able to function because these Russians keep on drugging me and my foster mother’s hacker brother in India hacks my hospital test results and scans to prove that I’m just mentally unstable and that nothing is physically wrong with me so that people could hurt and belittle me and take advantage of me...
SW-User