I Am Attracted to People I Can't Have
I Certainly Have A Type...... It's not that I don't think I'm a viable commodity, to put it in ridiculous terms, it's just that I seem to only be truly attracted to girls that I don't seem to have a shot with. Not because I think they're out of my league, or they're exceedingly beautiful or anything, it's just that the people that I find most interesting seem to have some sort of baggage, which makes them hard to penetrate through their exterior defenses. They seem to always have armor on, that no man who is anything less than extraordinary can pierce. And by no means am I that. I'm just a normal, awkward guy. I'm no debonair, suave fellow, like Cary Grant that can sweep these girls off their feet.
I've finally gotten past my last unrequited attraction, due in part to absence of this person from my life except for rare occasions, and in part to discovering another attraction, though I have not the courage to find out whether it's unrequited or not. She's a girl in one of my literature classes, exceedingly intelligent and charismatic. She's a brilliant writer, and a year ahead of me in college. I love the way she pauses in sentences to collect thoughts, the way she emphasizes certain words, the way she gestures a lot when she speaks, the way she always warmly smiles at the next person when she passes a handout along, the way her eyebrows rise and forehead crinkles when she's listening intently with interest to whomever is speaking. Why can't I have her? What's stopping me from telling her all this? What's stopping me from taking a chance, no matter the outcome, just to see? Is is better to just sit back and admire her from afar, and imagine what could be, which I much enjoy, or to take a chance, make a mistake, even if the result is getting shot down? Have I the courage to make such a mistake? If I had the opportunity to perchance, get her alone for a few seconds, and declare my admiration for her, would I seize Fortune? Or would I let it pass by again, as I have in the past?
I've finally gotten past my last unrequited attraction, due in part to absence of this person from my life except for rare occasions, and in part to discovering another attraction, though I have not the courage to find out whether it's unrequited or not. She's a girl in one of my literature classes, exceedingly intelligent and charismatic. She's a brilliant writer, and a year ahead of me in college. I love the way she pauses in sentences to collect thoughts, the way she emphasizes certain words, the way she gestures a lot when she speaks, the way she always warmly smiles at the next person when she passes a handout along, the way her eyebrows rise and forehead crinkles when she's listening intently with interest to whomever is speaking. Why can't I have her? What's stopping me from telling her all this? What's stopping me from taking a chance, no matter the outcome, just to see? Is is better to just sit back and admire her from afar, and imagine what could be, which I much enjoy, or to take a chance, make a mistake, even if the result is getting shot down? Have I the courage to make such a mistake? If I had the opportunity to perchance, get her alone for a few seconds, and declare my admiration for her, would I seize Fortune? Or would I let it pass by again, as I have in the past?
31-35, M