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I Am a Stepmother

I'm done step parenting. I give up. I understand it's a thankless job but I shouldn't have to tolerate this. Why on earth should I watch his daughter while he is at work if she explodes in anger when she is caught in a lie or told she can't do something? When he gets home he gives her sympathy and I'm the bad one. He would never tolerate her yelling at him the way she yells at me. I'm tired of no consequences for bad behavior. She shouldn't be in one of the best moods I've ever seen her in to the point it was so over done it was making sick. She has no accountability for her actions. None. After I apologized to the neighbor yesterday in case they thought I'm ok with letting kids do what my SD and their daughter did they actually did the majority of the talking. They told me bunches of things about SD they are upset about. You would think her dad should know about this. But I can't tell him because he would just get angry and that's when I finally realized things won't get better. At least he wasn't yelling at me with his daughter like he's done before but that's not enough improvement in 7 years. I'm so angry but so sad. I love him but I can't live like this. I can't put our 5 year old through it either. SD is only 12. It's only going to get worse if she isn't stopped now and I'm the only one trying which is a useless task without her dad. I feel hopeless. I don't know where to go. It will be hard for our 5 year old to not see her dad every day anymore but it will be even harder if we stay and get verbally and eventually physically abused by his daughter. I wish we could work on it together but you can't work on something if you can't admit that a problem exists.
We are supposed to go to the boat races today. It sounded like a lot of fun but I don't want to go now. I can't be around either of them. Wish I could go stay at my mom's house but she sold her house recently. I'd stay in a tent if it was safe but it's not. I'd stay in a hotel if I had the money. Instead I'm stuck here with this father and daughter duo. I got myself here. The life we live today is a result of the choices we made yesterday right?

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FrauleinAsh

My god, I ache for you. Step parenting is 10x harder than raising your own. But it's probably 100x worse when your partner doesn't support you in your struggle. In fact, I'd say it's almost (if not completely) impossible to be a good step parent when your partner isn't standing by you. It's so hurtful, u feel so betrayed and disregarded.

I listened to a friend recently abt his current situation w/his own stepson. It made me feel fortunate that I seemed to have it easy in comparison, evn tho I feel I'm living a NIGHTMARE. His SS smokes drugs in the house w/his biological 8yr old daughter standing right in front of her. The little girl is constantly ignored/disregarded by this SS every time she tries to interact with him. She tries so hard and he is just CRUEL to her. She always cries to her dad, asking why her stepbrother doesn't like her. The SS comes home when he feels like it & has NO rules or discipline, and you wouldn't evn BELIEVE the way he talks to him/his mom/any family members at all. All of this going on in HIS OWN house! And as stepparents... we are supposed to 'leave the parenting to the parent'?? At what cost?? And when is 'enough ENOUGH'??

You sound like you're doing your part, but there is only so much you can take. I wish I had something positive to say to you, but I feel as though you are absolutely right on the money when u say 'it'll only get worse'. When I read your post I was thinking this grl is a bratty teenager... but then I saw that shes only 11 or 12!! Grl, your nightmare has only just begun... it will only get WORSE. Like... A LOT worse. The whole 'parent not disciplining their own kid' thing is frightening common. I try so hard to find a solution, but... I feel as though this is an uphill battle.

So here we are, doing the only thing we have to bring any sort of relief... just reaching out to anyone else who is in the same position.

morrgin · F

I am very afraid of how much worse it could get.

Fellapart

Very true. The life we live today is a result of the choices we made yesterday.

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