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I Am Not Homeless, But I Don't Have a Home

I've started to experience this more and more over the past few years. I have slowly but surely taken one step after aother away from home. It is a great feeling, being social, having friends who you care about like family and coming to peace with yourself.
I love it.
But recently, or about a year ago my feeling of home, changed.
Familly transformed from the bloodrelated people to the people who really know me, my friends.
Home transformed from my room and house, to a person.
My partner, it is only beside him i truly feel at home.

When I get "home", to my parents house, I feel restless. I don't feel at peace here. Someone is always watching me. It is too crowded, but it's so lonely.

When I am at home, when I am with him, I finally relax. But when we are together there is always a time limit. "Now I have to go in 2 hours/2days" or what ever kindof time we have. I am never at peace, I'm never at home. It's like coming home after a stressful day but knowing you have to leave for the even more stressful world in a short period of time.

It's agitating. To have a busy life with stress and schoolwork up to your ears where you barely have time to breathe, when you don't feel like you have a home.
Or, atleast I can never truly be home.
randomgirl42 · 26-30, F
*hugs* hang in there! you've very strong and i'm sure one day everything will come together and make sense, then you'll feel true happiness
attaboy · 22-25
@randomgirl42 thank you
Lackwittyname · 51-55, M
Sounds like you’re putting all your eggs in one basket, that’s dangerous, if he’s gone for any reason you will crumble
attaboy · 22-25
@Lackwittyname I am very aware of that. But I don't know what to do. Can I help my feeling of home?
Lackwittyname · 51-55, M
@attaboy probably can’t help it but will potentially suck for you later on
attaboy · 22-25
@Lackwittyname i know...
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
If you have schoolwork up to your ears...maybe that should be your main focus for a while.
attaboy · 22-25
@greenmountaingal It is my main focus. Everything else has to wait. Even him.

 
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