I Am Not Homeless, But I Don't Have a Home
I've started to experience this more and more over the past few years. I have slowly but surely taken one step after aother away from home. It is a great feeling, being social, having friends who you care about like family and coming to peace with yourself.
I love it.
But recently, or about a year ago my feeling of home, changed.
Familly transformed from the bloodrelated people to the people who really know me, my friends.
Home transformed from my room and house, to a person.
My partner, it is only beside him i truly feel at home.
When I get "home", to my parents house, I feel restless. I don't feel at peace here. Someone is always watching me. It is too crowded, but it's so lonely.
When I am at home, when I am with him, I finally relax. But when we are together there is always a time limit. "Now I have to go in 2 hours/2days" or what ever kindof time we have. I am never at peace, I'm never at home. It's like coming home after a stressful day but knowing you have to leave for the even more stressful world in a short period of time.
It's agitating. To have a busy life with stress and schoolwork up to your ears where you barely have time to breathe, when you don't feel like you have a home.
Or, atleast I can never truly be home.
I love it.
But recently, or about a year ago my feeling of home, changed.
Familly transformed from the bloodrelated people to the people who really know me, my friends.
Home transformed from my room and house, to a person.
My partner, it is only beside him i truly feel at home.
When I get "home", to my parents house, I feel restless. I don't feel at peace here. Someone is always watching me. It is too crowded, but it's so lonely.
When I am at home, when I am with him, I finally relax. But when we are together there is always a time limit. "Now I have to go in 2 hours/2days" or what ever kindof time we have. I am never at peace, I'm never at home. It's like coming home after a stressful day but knowing you have to leave for the even more stressful world in a short period of time.
It's agitating. To have a busy life with stress and schoolwork up to your ears where you barely have time to breathe, when you don't feel like you have a home.
Or, atleast I can never truly be home.