I Want to Pull Myself Back Together
Journal entry 15- Goodnight Wake Up
I didn't think I'd ever come back. All I remember is walking until my legs were on fire. I slept where I wanted to sleep that night.
All that was on my mind was exploring some place new.
I kind of feel that way again but I don't have it in me to just pick up and go anymore. I have responsibilities now. Life is just different.
Those days provided different experimental opportunities than the ones I have now. Eventually in life we reach a point where we need to be grounded into something more stable.
And we still have room for lots of unexpected things, twisted pathways we could take.
But I can't just pick up and walk entire cities anymore. Every street and crevice and hill is no longer mine to explore.
Strangers are strange. Their name suits them. You woke me up in a bizarre way with your high beams on. Like you were surprised to see anyone sleeping there.
I think it was more surprising for me to be woken up from my sleep by someone in this area.
You did your drugs and stayed there well over 2 hours. Keeping your lights on me as if I was the dangerous one. Your drugs clearly had you paranoid.
It was probably your favorite spot long before I found it to sleep in. Who knows how long you had been using it for.
You ruined my journey. I was kind of pissed, because I didn't feel safe anymore. So I took my already exhausted body and skulked all the way back home. All due to my cowardice and fear.
Maybe I should have just not been afraid. Maybe life would have been better and I could have completed that journey for myself.
I guess what if scenarios play out simply too often in my mind.
I didn't think I'd ever come back. All I remember is walking until my legs were on fire. I slept where I wanted to sleep that night.
All that was on my mind was exploring some place new.
I kind of feel that way again but I don't have it in me to just pick up and go anymore. I have responsibilities now. Life is just different.
Those days provided different experimental opportunities than the ones I have now. Eventually in life we reach a point where we need to be grounded into something more stable.
And we still have room for lots of unexpected things, twisted pathways we could take.
But I can't just pick up and walk entire cities anymore. Every street and crevice and hill is no longer mine to explore.
Strangers are strange. Their name suits them. You woke me up in a bizarre way with your high beams on. Like you were surprised to see anyone sleeping there.
I think it was more surprising for me to be woken up from my sleep by someone in this area.
You did your drugs and stayed there well over 2 hours. Keeping your lights on me as if I was the dangerous one. Your drugs clearly had you paranoid.
It was probably your favorite spot long before I found it to sleep in. Who knows how long you had been using it for.
You ruined my journey. I was kind of pissed, because I didn't feel safe anymore. So I took my already exhausted body and skulked all the way back home. All due to my cowardice and fear.
Maybe I should have just not been afraid. Maybe life would have been better and I could have completed that journey for myself.
I guess what if scenarios play out simply too often in my mind.
