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I Am Wounded

Someday..
Maybe someone will see me
My true soul and heart.
Not
My many flaws and scars stitched around
but the light beneath.
Under all my dirt
Im a good girl.
The baddest thing Ive ever done is the way I treat myself.
I am way more than more abuse
I'll enforce it until I can believe it.
If only I believed it..
Someday someone will listen to my words
And see me.
Notice how smart I am
How loyal.
How strong.
They wont hurt me and make me fight to be respected.
They wont ignore me.
Someone will know what I will and wont do.
Maybe see the color of my eyes
Listen to me sing....
Maybe.
Someday...

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exoid · 26-30, M

Sometimes, I find the act of longing to be masochistic in nature. I think I know exactly how you feel.

SW-User

@exoid How so and in what context?

exoid · 26-30, M

@SW-User When longing usually one has an Ideal in mind. Every-time you find someone who you think might fit that ideal, you realize slowly that they actually perceive you the same way everyone else does, you just can't be seen for who you are, broken or not. Then you painfully break of that relationship, moving on, questioning, attempting to figure out what exactly you're missing. The process is insufferable, yet you slowly realize that its the longing, the pain, you're addicted to. Maybe the solution could be to simply remove the ideal..? I have yet to solve this problem, but if you can relate, I will share more.

SW-User

You need to see you, flaws and all, as worthy of that kind of love.

Nobody can fully understand another person that is fairytale stuff and breaks many hearts when accepting a person without fully knowing them would be better than searching for something that does not exist.

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