I Came Out
To My Brother... I had already had to deal with people knowing at school, when i didn't want to, and since my brother was so close to me, because hes my family and like for me anyway, theres a diffrence between my school life, my online life and my family life, online i am more who i am inside, and school i just pretend the same with my family though its a different kind of pretending if that makes sense...anyway, i decided i wanted to come out, after we came across a gay pride thing going on, i was comfortable with it but i had to pretend to not be. i was also scared that my brother would hate it, but he didn't even care what they was doing, but i still felt tired of havin to hide who i was from him, espically since we are so close..so later on last night, after getting pretty drunk, i just went in and told him.
he was shocked at first, and said he found it all weird, i did too, but that he didn't care and i should just do what i want, but not ot tell my parents becuase my mum, she would tell everyone and lots of awkward questions would be asked. so, in the end he was okay with it, istill can't really believe i told him. after i did, well i felt so weird and i regretted it completley, that i had ruined my realtionship with him forever. it also brought back feelings of self hate and repression that i used to feel for being bisexual.
but after a while, i started to feel better and the opening of such a persoanl thing about my life to somoene who while we did care about each other, never really knew anything about me, was starting to lose its effect. i feel proud at what i did now, and i dont think i regret it so much anymore. it was deffinatly the hardest thing i've ever had to do. i'm glad that he was accpecting but it didn't change how hard it was really..still, this is a step towards a new me really, i'm coming out of the opression which covered most of my childhood and teen life, and maybe this time, i might actually change how i look, how i am with others and just all the outwardness of me to reflect my innerself, my true self.
he was shocked at first, and said he found it all weird, i did too, but that he didn't care and i should just do what i want, but not ot tell my parents becuase my mum, she would tell everyone and lots of awkward questions would be asked. so, in the end he was okay with it, istill can't really believe i told him. after i did, well i felt so weird and i regretted it completley, that i had ruined my realtionship with him forever. it also brought back feelings of self hate and repression that i used to feel for being bisexual.
but after a while, i started to feel better and the opening of such a persoanl thing about my life to somoene who while we did care about each other, never really knew anything about me, was starting to lose its effect. i feel proud at what i did now, and i dont think i regret it so much anymore. it was deffinatly the hardest thing i've ever had to do. i'm glad that he was accpecting but it didn't change how hard it was really..still, this is a step towards a new me really, i'm coming out of the opression which covered most of my childhood and teen life, and maybe this time, i might actually change how i look, how i am with others and just all the outwardness of me to reflect my innerself, my true self.
