I Self Sabotage

yes there it is. i knew this wouldnt last. i [i]cannot[/i] do long distance relationships. im too insecure and impatient with my loneliness. my frustration is already boiling with him being busy - and of course my insecurity is saying hes "busy" im going to push him away on purpose either by bitching with secret posts or by saying something in the heat of the moment. i feel so discouraged with just words and gullible when its easy to be absent online. i feel diseased - its like im a junkie with poisoning myself