I Dont Find the Holidays As Much Fun Anymore

I used to love getting presents. When I was a little kid I used to tear open my gifts as quickly as I could, excited to see what Santa or the Easter Bunny gave me. But now I've lost that magical feeling that holidays used to give me. First of all, I can't get gifts that would actually make me happy. Because my gender identity is still a secret, I can't ask for clothes or makeup or anything that would make my transition easier. I tried asking for money but my parents said just getting money defeats the purpose of a holiday. It also sucks that I've learned that Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are all myths. I miss the sense of wonder I used to get when I still believed in them. That being said, I wish all of you who haven't had their entire life thrown upside down by being born into the wrong body happy holidays for the rest of your life.