I Always Mess Up the Good Things I Have In Life

I believe so, she says she isn’t, but when we’re apart, she doesn’t text, she doesn’t respond or answer calls all night until the next day or whenever she feels like it. She asks what can she do to help yet doesn’t actually do anything I ask. She said to get back together, and at first I was happy because I heard it and it’s what I wanted. And she said it’s what she wanted too, she said she missed me and we practically made out in her bed. Not practically, we made out in her bed. But then she said but I’m still gonna need my space, and I was like uh, okay. Gotcha, and that was that, my main issue is with myself. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to say, I don’t know how to act or how to feel and it’s all driving me crazy. I try not to care and sometimes it works, but I know I’m fucking myself up more emotionally EVERYTIME I want to kiss her but tell myself something to make me angry at her or to make me not want her. And it’s sick, because I do want her, and she says she wants me, but........why does she just block me out of her life when she’s with her friends, and why can’t I know any of her friends.... @SW-User

I think maybe she's lying to you...and is using this "break" to get away from you, but idk what her issue is...you're so nice and caring