I Have a Fear
I really do have a big fear. Fearing death is easy enough. But I have a fear that I fear more than death itself. It's what all I've mentioned previously in my previous stories: the family curse.
As I said before, my friend Thomas was a compulsive gambler and all that. Card bettings, which then go south. Thereafter, he bets football, baseball, horse races, boxing, hockey, wrestling, NASCAR races, etc. He lost everything. He gotten no luck at all or worse yet, very bad luck. His dad tells him: "Son? This is what we call the family curse. If we didn't have any bad luck at all, we would have no luck at all. Or worse yet, if we did not have no luck at all, the worse case scenario would be in that we'd have very bad luck. It's the family curse, son. It's the family curse."
As I also said before, from what Thomas told me, that was when I has I had to find out for myself that that's what was going on in my time with my family. Where it all started to begin with: my old man, who brought the whole thing upon himself from the start and blamed everyone else, including his old man. After me and my siblings came along, he then brought the whole thing upon all of us, including me, especially me, when we were all having things going for ourselves just the way we wanted. And worst of all, he blamed us for it saying it's our own fault, when really that was manipulation and really HIS fault. The only thing I should've done from the start was moved out of the house after high school when I had the chance. Because of every screw up he put me through, resulting in me having to do psychiatry because of him when he really should've been doing it, I'm now not able to gain that momentum. Now, I'm taking a new direction in life and will plan ahead for mine after me.
The thing is, though, about my fear, I do fear the family curse more than anything else in the world. I fear that if I don't point mine after me in the right direction, that they would end up the way I did, or the way my old man did, or even worse, what with the family curse and all that. Which is why I will tell them and promise them that if they do go into the military along with their martial arts, and their other skills they'll have, that they will have the better opportunities and momentums I never got to gain, and in that, they'll be better than me for starters, but more importantly, they'll be much better than especially my old man. I will tell them the truth, and it will be the truth, and nothing but the truth. I will promise them that the direction I'll point them into and all that will be the right direction, and how they must continue the tradition with theirs after them and carry it out, to never be like my father or my brother. In doing, I would be representing a newer line of much better generations. They'll also now how certain things in life are far more important than obtaining fame and fortune. In promising them this, I will promise them that in doing what I'll expect them all to do, generation after generation, they'll never have any part of my "journey of a struggle" or for that matter, the family curse, either.
All this is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Any negativity, removed and blocked.
As I said before, my friend Thomas was a compulsive gambler and all that. Card bettings, which then go south. Thereafter, he bets football, baseball, horse races, boxing, hockey, wrestling, NASCAR races, etc. He lost everything. He gotten no luck at all or worse yet, very bad luck. His dad tells him: "Son? This is what we call the family curse. If we didn't have any bad luck at all, we would have no luck at all. Or worse yet, if we did not have no luck at all, the worse case scenario would be in that we'd have very bad luck. It's the family curse, son. It's the family curse."
As I also said before, from what Thomas told me, that was when I has I had to find out for myself that that's what was going on in my time with my family. Where it all started to begin with: my old man, who brought the whole thing upon himself from the start and blamed everyone else, including his old man. After me and my siblings came along, he then brought the whole thing upon all of us, including me, especially me, when we were all having things going for ourselves just the way we wanted. And worst of all, he blamed us for it saying it's our own fault, when really that was manipulation and really HIS fault. The only thing I should've done from the start was moved out of the house after high school when I had the chance. Because of every screw up he put me through, resulting in me having to do psychiatry because of him when he really should've been doing it, I'm now not able to gain that momentum. Now, I'm taking a new direction in life and will plan ahead for mine after me.
The thing is, though, about my fear, I do fear the family curse more than anything else in the world. I fear that if I don't point mine after me in the right direction, that they would end up the way I did, or the way my old man did, or even worse, what with the family curse and all that. Which is why I will tell them and promise them that if they do go into the military along with their martial arts, and their other skills they'll have, that they will have the better opportunities and momentums I never got to gain, and in that, they'll be better than me for starters, but more importantly, they'll be much better than especially my old man. I will tell them the truth, and it will be the truth, and nothing but the truth. I will promise them that the direction I'll point them into and all that will be the right direction, and how they must continue the tradition with theirs after them and carry it out, to never be like my father or my brother. In doing, I would be representing a newer line of much better generations. They'll also now how certain things in life are far more important than obtaining fame and fortune. In promising them this, I will promise them that in doing what I'll expect them all to do, generation after generation, they'll never have any part of my "journey of a struggle" or for that matter, the family curse, either.
All this is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Any negativity, removed and blocked.
