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I Am Childless Not By Choice

Childless And Happy?... [youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvXScNU6GAM]
I have long regretted not having had any children,coming from a toxic family my dream was to one day have a family of my own,a functional family and give my children the love and support that I did not get myself.
But life,sadly does not always work out the way we think it should,we make our biggest mistakes often when we are young and immature and often confused and a low self esteem and lack parental of guidance certainly isn't conductive to helping make the right decisions.I do not consider my life to have been a total failure,I achieved quite a few things but I cannot help feeling the void inside and knowing that I have missed on a most vital experience of life.
Sadly there are a lot of misconceptions about childless women,misconceptions which only add to our grief and the feeling of inadequacy and having missed out, most of us feel regardless of our age,we never quite get over it.
But no,we are NOT more immature than women who have had children,we have acquired our maturity in a different way than becoming parents and I have come across many women in my nursing career that are mothers and also profoundly immature.
There are many preconceived ideas regarding childless women,due to culture and religion.
There are also not many web site that will give real emotional support for women who did not have children NOT BY CHOICE, to help them deal with their grief mostly when it comes to "social infertility" women who never married and never met the right partner to have children with.You will find plenty about parenthood and the rearing of children in all its aspects.It seems we are the forgotten ones or "not all that important" in our society.
But I did find a video I wish to share. "Gateway women" is the web site for giving support and empowering childless women.
yorah
Hello! You don't need to have biological babies to have children! You can look around for someone who has no parent or a dysfunctional relationship with a parent and become a parent figure to him/her!
I have had a bad/non existing relationship with my biological father and have always wanted to experience a healthy father-daughter relationship. If I could have found a father figure at ANY age I would have felt much more bonding to him than I have ever felt to my biological dad! So blood really doesn't matter! You could become someone really important and loved in someone else's life.
In my quest I came across so many people hurting either for never having kids or parents or siblings or friends so I thought of making a facebook page where people looking for family bonds outside their biological families can connect, talk and maybe some will find what they were looking for in one another! Please check it out. It is still brand new. https://www.facebook.com/Universal-Dream-Family-327515930792241/
berangere · 80-89, F
I have joined your page.Thank you for sharing it with us.
TimelessEyes
Totally agree with Papri. And then how many artists and geniuses of both sexes had no children? Socrates, Nietzsche, Beethoven, Chopin, Virginia Woolf, hundreds of them... Your biological role does not define you... Your heart and soul do! You are quite unique and admirable, you do not need a mediocre society's approval... You are above their archaic, primitive criteria!
papri
Society has a biased opinion towards childless parents or women but they fail to see how many children are homeless, do not have proper lives and are hurt,sad, deprived of love in this world for no fault of their own.
You are a beautiful person who inspire people like me. Hugs.
berangere · 80-89, F
They should realise that not all parents do live up to the responsibility that bringing up children entails,to give them the love they need so they can grow into loving and well adjusted people.Just giving birth to a child is not enough, bringing a child into the world is not just another feather in your cap to say that you have fulfilled yet another one of society's expectation of what a woman is supposed to be.
avatarunknown
You are thoughtful and caring person. Too many inadequate people have children, without being able to parent effectively.
It seems there should be a more tolerant attitude towards peoples choices in this area.
berangere · 80-89, F
Sadly,preconceived ideas die hard.
ValueMe
Thank you for the comment about immaturity. I get that one all of the time. I have certainly matured in other ways, but society does not see me fitting into their mold so they dismiss me. Reading these posts are helpful.
thoughtbubble
Good talk. Many good points on social change. I liked the quote from Nietzsche, midway in the talk : 'The one with a why, can face any how. '

 
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