I Want to Transition

There’s only been a few times I’ve passed as a guy in public, only because my hair wasn’t at the length it is now, if you’ve seen how long my hair is then you know. Long hair was never for me, it never looked good on me honestly. Short hair was it for me, I loved it, it was me, made me happy and boosted my confidence in myself.

Long hair had always been associated with woman, short hair for men till someone decided to make a change, we know how it is now with hair styles, anybody can style it however the heck they want and go in with their life.
I know guys can have long hair, but since I haven’t started my transition, having long hair makes it almost impossible for me to pass off as a guy. I look like a “girl”, misgendered and of course the person corrected themselves(who know I’m trans anyway). Probably seems silly to other people, but I feel like having short hair(like a guy) would help me pass a lot better and make me happy. Seeing my hair keep growing makes me sad and honestly has made me have some mini-break downs. It’s just hair, right? But to me it’s important to pass because it makes me feel good.
If I’m seen a gay male, okay lol, I can live with that, but if I’m seen as a “woman” or a “girl” it shoots me down and I was literally want to cry and just leave.

I love who I am, but I want to be able to see that in the mirror too.