I Am Actually Quite Shy
Don't know why but at times i'm just shy at times when people do stuff that like i'm interested in or wanna learn more about, Like i feel theres things i wanna do and places i wanna go...but like someone has to seriously push me into doing it for me to get into it you know. It's like the stuff/places i don't know much about that i would like to get into, and people gotta like hella obligate/force/invite me to go you know. It's like me not being the initiator in conversations in conversations with people, i wait for them to do so (If i know you really well then sometimes i will.) An example: Today i wanted to try-out playing an electric guitar, but i was to shy/meager to just go and do it...teacher also asked if anyone else was interested in the class to play/try it, but i still didn't go...(i think i felt out-shined or like envious of the really good players and that like i would kinda suck....) it would've been different though if the teacher just picked on me to go and try it, cause then i would happily oblige you know. Thing is i kinda hate that i don't just do things for me, also that i'm like this. (I ended up getting upset with myself after class, and i just felt like shit tbh....i'm good now though, but still kinda upset over me being that way...)