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I Have Seen Domestic Violence

[i]Back on EP I posted a single story about my dad and my mom before the divorce. I tracked it down and decided I want to repost it here on SW.. I'm going to edit it a bit for the sake of clearing out typos, removing any references to other stories I made on EP, or taking anything poorly worded out but, in essence, it'll be the same thing.
Initial posting date: Oct 12, 2015[/i]

I'm not sure why I feel like writing this story.There's been a boom in this topic amongst kids my age recently. Not just on EP, but in school. And for a while, I feel like it's something I need to say- for no particular reason other than that it happened and I've never talked about it with anyone before.

I was little when this took place; about two years old. Three, give or take. And my brother was just over one. This is, at least as far as I know, what really set off the destined divorce between my parents.

So.. my brother and I were playing on the floor and my dad was in the room with us. My mom came in and balanced herself on the doorway and she said something to my dad. I don't remember what exactly. I could tell by her body language that she was drunk (she was like that often enough, but I didn't really understand what "drunk" was at the time), and by the expression on her face and the slurred tone in her voice shew as angry about something.

I remember that all at once, my dad, brother, and I all got really tense and wide-eyed.
I don't think I understood what was being said.. but the air itself got heated fast.. and, y'know, kids pick up on that.

Chaos erupted immediately.
My dad had tensed and in the same moment my mom turned and ran into the hallway and out of my sight; my dad hot on her heels.

Screaming ensued, and I vividly remember looking at my brother in the same instant he looked at me. I don't remember if my mom yelled for us or if instinct just told us to run after them, but at the same time my brother and I got up and ran into the living room.

When we did, we saw that my mom was laying on the floor flat on her back; bleeding from her nose, a split eyebrow, and the corners of her mouth. My dad was standing over her and his fists were clenched, but when he saw us he loosened them and his posture slumped just the smallest bit.

That's where my memory ends.

I don't want to make it sound like I'm traumatized, because I had the smallest of parts in this whole ordeal.
I will say though that, even now, whenever I see rage building in my dad, I find myself becoming too scared to come near him. My dad would never hurt me, and if it wasn't for this little experience here, I would deny that he could ever hurt anybody.

But.. it's that fight or flight response that kicking in I guess.



(EDIT: I'm going to try to double check on the ages. I realize it's not the most important detail but I feel like I may have been a bit older)
SW-User
I can also relate. I've never experienced anything asides from verbal abuse myself, but I have seen my dad hit my mum a couple of times... Just like mic11225, nothing bloody though.

I've always felt like I had to tiptoe around him after that. But yeah, once you've seen that you're never really the same. My father has mellowed down over the years and things are better now. His temper is still there but it doesn't get anywhere beyond yelling.
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mic11225 · 26-30, M
I can relate. Thankfully things almost never got bloody when it came to my dad, but he's lost control several times, and I remember them. He was aware of what he did and tried to get better over the years. He is somewhat better now, but I know he still loses his temper even though he pretends he doesn't. Those memories are one of the major reasons I don't think i'll ever be close to my dad. I have this ingrained fear of him that I can't get rid of. I wonder if I am so afraid of people being angryis because of him or if that is just natural for me. I guess it's irrelevant at this point.
mic11225 · 26-30, M
@IntenseCookie Me too. On the bright side it's only 3 days, we'll probably do something and I'll be spending time hanging out with other people I haven't seen since I moved. The time in between is what I'm worried about. And if you mean that offer sincerely, thank you, I'll be ok though.
HatsOnFrogs · 22-25, M
Right. Well, I can definitely relate. Being absolutely terrified of your dad is not fun at all...
IntenseCookie · 26-30, F
mic - I hope everything goes well, good luck. And feel free to message me of if need be
mic11225 · 26-30, M
@IntenseCookie It's fine. On the bright side I don't live with him so it's not too much of an issue. Although I am going to visit him tomorrow for the first time in 2 years. I'm hoping that will go well but I have very low expectations.
IntenseCookie · 26-30, F
UnicornSparkles - Yeah the tiptoe thing I understand. Like I said in my story my dad would never hurt me, but when they get angry there's that moment of, "Oh shit, what if today's the day that changes?"
IntenseCookie · 26-30, F
Valentine - Ahhh.. maybe? I don't think my dad left the house till at least a year after this but my memory is fuzzy on that part.
IntenseCookie · 26-30, F
mic - I'm sorry to hear that :/ It's kind of scary that memories like that affect people as much as they do.
HatsOnFrogs · 22-25, M
Shit. Did anything like that ever happen again?
IntenseCookie · 26-30, F
As far as I know this was just a one time thing
HatsOnFrogs · 22-25, M
Right. And their marriage ended soon after?

 
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