Last year I attempted to forge a relationship with him.

I come from a divorced family where my father was a drunk and a deadbeat. I thought that maybe as an adult if I reached out we might be able to have a relationship. We spent the day together and it was awkward. What do you even talk about with someone who hasn't spoken to you in years? We ended up bar hopping in Ginza where he told me he spends a lot of time living it up. I guess bar hopping,drinking, gambling and being a ladies man is how he fills his free time. I will admit it wasn't all bad.I did enjoy bar hopping with him because I felt we could talk more freely and openly with alcohol in our systems.

He does reach out from time to time but I'm not certain if we will ever have a real bond or a real relationship. I don't want to be a drinking buddy or the friend who spots him money because he spent it all. I want to be a son to him but I don't know if he even wants that. I guess these are things we will have to iron out between the long and awkward silences and pauses when we were together. At least I can say I tried.


This was us when we met up a year ago. It is insane how much we look alike except I am far taller. Even creepier how we look the same age, which in a way makes me feel bad. I wouldn't say this chapter is closed but rather a work in progress. Maybe I will see if my siblings want to come next time.