Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Will Write A Letter I Will Not Send

We share the same dwelling, take most of our meals together, and even lay in the same bed on your nights off. Sometimes we talk about you job, the weather, politics and news stories, or plan things to do on your days off. Usually, we can go days without ever saying a word to each other, with me sitting in the living room, and you sitting in the bedroom.

Normally, it's quiet and friendly enough, like two civil strangers occupying the same space peacefully. Then there are the times when all you do is criticize and make snide little "jokes" at my expense while pretending you are only playing.

Sometimes, when I look at you I can almost see her. That girl I fell in love with all those years ago. The one whose laughter and smiles used to light up my entire universe, and made me feel I was the most important person on the planet. Sometimes, I catch the smallest glimmer of the most beautiful and greatest friend I have ever known, just behind those eyes that once sparkled with life and passion. But, I am learning to accept that she is gone now, and that I am alone even when I'm not.

It's funny how you can spend so much time in the presence of someone, and still miss them like they were a million miles away. I know that we have our son to focus on, that he needs us both, and that is all that binds us now.

But I miss you, and I can't stop wondering if there is still some way to bring you back. I miss the intimacy and companionship. I miss being able to speak openly and freely about any and everything. The playfulness and feeling of being loved. I miss my friend.
I'm reading this in my kitchen. I've just got home. We have the house to ourselves. He said hello then disappeared upstairs. I tried to follow him and he said he was doing work.
We havent had time to ourselves since a night out for our anniversary in December. When I get home from work he goes to do what he needs to do and my day starts again.
I feel this.
@SW-User I'm sorry. Just one of those days I need to vent and she wouldn't listen if I said this out loud.
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
I’ve given up hope for anything to be rekindled but we are civil and the kids have their family in tact. That’s most important to me at this point.
@Keepitsimple same. But still I can't help but remember the way it used to be and to miss those feelings.
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
Of course...that’s how we wind up getting married and why we got married. It was incredible at the time. So many things happen as the years go by. We grow up and change. If it isn’t together then we grow apart and it’s very difficult to feel the same. @PrivateHell
If my hubby(separated but still living under the same roof, separate bedrooms) ever says this to me, he knows what my answer will be.

He knows he's cheated on me with so many women, got caught, and even our families know how many times he's asked for forgiveness and that he'll change his ways. If I stopped working on US after 10 was his fault...coz I had fallen out of love with that asshole of a man.

Dare he even tries to mend the bridge...
@Vivaci understandable in that situation.
@PrivateHell Yeah, I would rather play with my heart in a football field than give it back to that spineless cheater.
Degbeme · 70-79, M
This is my life. 😕
@Degbeme sorry Deggy. It's like a slow, rotting hell.
Degbeme · 70-79, M
@PrivateHell Good analogy. It is.
Sounds like my marriage... 😭
@jaymic64 I'm going through something now, and for the past few months, I've been made to feel alone with it, like I need mental help and worst still, that I can't even talk about it because it shouldn't even be an issue.

Sometimes, I would love to have someone understand, even if they can't relate to the Hell I'm going through... just listen and let me vent how I feel without making me feel like I've gone crazier than I already feel.

I try not to ask for too much, but, the one time I do ask for something, I fear that it's too much for this place.
jaymic64 · M
@HootyTheNightOwl I get that. Unless you are living it it’s hard for others to understand. You’re not crazy but I know sometimes they try to make you look like you are.
@jaymic64 Yes!!! I do struggle mentally at times, so I'm more aware of how I'm feeling than many people might be.

Nothing confuses me more than to be told that I need mental help when I feel strong and confident in my ability to manage myself without any input from specialists!!!

Like, I'm not crazy, I'm just trying to find myself again, thank you!!! 🤣

I keep trying to tell them that you don't get over things overnight. Sometimes, it takes months or years to find yourself again.
RubySoo · 56-60, F
Oh hun....i totally understand.
I do hope things can get better for you soon x
SweetMae · 70-79, F
I'm sorry. I hope you can regain all that soon.
@SweetMae I hope so to Mae. But I don't know if I ever will.
Wez1972 · 51-55, M
So hard . I spent the last 2 years of my relationship wishing for more and being forever miserable and taking her for granted only to realise that the woman I fell in love with was still right in front of me but I had let myself become consumed with being a twat and not treating her like the princess she is . Time passes and the pain eases but I had it all and threw it away xx
jaymic64 · M
Sounds like we married the same woman. I feel your pain daily. It a lonely way to live but circumstances tend to keep us prisoners.
@jaymic64 yes they do.
Ingwe · F
sometimes focus shift
but when it comes back
it is better than ever
@Ingwe I'm worried too much time has already passed and those bridges were burned long ago.
Ingwe · F
@PrivateHell I hope it works out well

Post Comment
52 people following
I Will Write A Letter I Will Not Send
"Dear___" Write a letter to anyone you wish, a letter you won't send. Just to get things off your chest.
Forum Members