I Will Write A Letter I Will Not Send
S,
There have been very few moments which have moved me the way it did when I last saw you.
The way you speak so honestly and openly about your feelings is such an honour. That you trust me enough to do that is a wonderful thing.
I have learnt to be stoic in a lot of ways and dampen down my real feelings. Yet with you, you make me experience so much and that scares me. You bring out a vulnerable side which I try to keep hidden. I feel exposed with You, sometimes that is a good thing, at other times it scares me. You have so much power and you don't even know it. I have learnt to keep strong and hide my feelings but you are opening up that side of me which is weak. Maybe you see that in me. Someone who is tough on the outside but vulnerable on the inside.
When we are together I feel your eyes on me all the time. You are so aware of everything I do and I am you. I know you need me. In which way I am not sure but I know I am your anchor right now. I won't be for much longer but I am now.
When you cried, I held you. There have been other times when I have reached out and hugged you but this felt different. I held onto you for longer, felt your heart beating, smelt the fresh laundry smell of your shirt and rested my head on you.
In that moment I felt incredibly moved. Yet also scared. It's what I said before, you make me feel too much and you expose what I try and hide.
The way we held each other made me feel like we were the only two people in the world. The moment was so powerful and emotionally charged and I think you felt that too. I am almost scared to see you again. To break that spell and never have that moment with you again.
What we shared was lifeaffirming and beautiful. We shouldered your pain together and I am so moved by your vulnerability, your honesty and the way you trust me enough to reveal your feelings. Thanks for making me 'feel'. Something which I don't always do as I have had to be so tough.
I have a feeling that within a few months, we won't be so close. Outside of this situation, we probably would not have bonded in the way we have.I am just enjoying it while I can, conscious of the fact that it could end at anytime.
You bring out so many emotions in me and I know I will never forget what we shared. This was so special and I hope you felt it too.
Jenni.
There have been very few moments which have moved me the way it did when I last saw you.
The way you speak so honestly and openly about your feelings is such an honour. That you trust me enough to do that is a wonderful thing.
I have learnt to be stoic in a lot of ways and dampen down my real feelings. Yet with you, you make me experience so much and that scares me. You bring out a vulnerable side which I try to keep hidden. I feel exposed with You, sometimes that is a good thing, at other times it scares me. You have so much power and you don't even know it. I have learnt to keep strong and hide my feelings but you are opening up that side of me which is weak. Maybe you see that in me. Someone who is tough on the outside but vulnerable on the inside.
When we are together I feel your eyes on me all the time. You are so aware of everything I do and I am you. I know you need me. In which way I am not sure but I know I am your anchor right now. I won't be for much longer but I am now.
When you cried, I held you. There have been other times when I have reached out and hugged you but this felt different. I held onto you for longer, felt your heart beating, smelt the fresh laundry smell of your shirt and rested my head on you.
In that moment I felt incredibly moved. Yet also scared. It's what I said before, you make me feel too much and you expose what I try and hide.
The way we held each other made me feel like we were the only two people in the world. The moment was so powerful and emotionally charged and I think you felt that too. I am almost scared to see you again. To break that spell and never have that moment with you again.
What we shared was lifeaffirming and beautiful. We shouldered your pain together and I am so moved by your vulnerability, your honesty and the way you trust me enough to reveal your feelings. Thanks for making me 'feel'. Something which I don't always do as I have had to be so tough.
I have a feeling that within a few months, we won't be so close. Outside of this situation, we probably would not have bonded in the way we have.I am just enjoying it while I can, conscious of the fact that it could end at anytime.
You bring out so many emotions in me and I know I will never forget what we shared. This was so special and I hope you felt it too.
Jenni.
