Listen to me. Up until recently you have been happy (hopefully) the bad times are short lived because you end up figuring out what you need to be happy. Set your sights on your needs and go for it. You can do it. You have made it this far. Dig in. Get serious. You are a beautiful person. You can fix it. Set your mind to it and get it done. Don’t give up. If I gave up when I was your age I would have missed out on all the ups and downs in my 76 years. Hell it hasn’t been easy. But not worth checking out. PM me I don’t know what is bothering you but I do know life is worth the investment that you put forth. Perfect for this saying “ you get out of something what you put into it”. If you don’t invest in your future you won’t get anything in return.