I Have Been In An Abusive Relationship

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My father was abusive physically and mentally. My mother is schizophrenic and living with them both caused me to live in depression and anxiety. I grew up with my father constantly calling me a piece of shit. I never felt like I was good enough for anyone. I've never been in a relationship and don't think I ever will. I have low self esteem and I can't see anyone ever really wanting to be with me like that. I don't want to give my all to someone just to be left heartbroken. I've been through so much that mentally I don't think I can take that. I feel fragile and I'm holding on to a string. It breaks my heart because I always wondered what it felt like to have a loving family and to be loved and wanted. I wish to meet someone who is the opposite of my father.

Steve42 · 56-60, M

I'm fighting all of those issues for all the exact same reasons. I tend to choose relationships that abusive in nature. I have 3 kids, married 20 years, just for her to turn around and cheat. I swore that my kids would never face the crap I grew up with. Even the thought of doing some things with my kids that were done to me would turn my stomach.

PhoenixPhail · M

This sounds much like the family I grew up in. My mother wasn't schizophrenic, but she was narcissistic. Both my parents were rage addicts. There was so much abuse of all kinds (yes, that kind too), it's a miracle I survived it. My heart goes out to you for having to live in such a dysfunctional household. ❤️

passiond · M

I hope one or two of us can be the nice guy you need to chat with! Not only that, but that you really meet someone loving and sweet to you in the right ways. Hang in there Goldengirl!