I don't know if I'm being an a****** about this.

It's getting to the point that I'm starting to believe that between my partner and I that we rushed into things. I love her, marrying her made me the happiest person alive, but now I'm starting to not trust her. I put in a lot of commitment so we can start our married life. Got an apartment for each other, adopted a little furball because we wanted to raise a kitten (and I live alone, needed some company), but I STILL live alone... She has promised to move in with me since Thanksgiving. Of course, things fallshort so it was pushed to the beginning of February and I'd make little trips...I thought for sure this would be it, I can see her after a month apart.

I was wrong. Here we are in March now. She's telling me she loves me and is ready to be with me, but she's not really showing it. Hell, I got tired of being let down I didn't even bother asking when it will be okay for me to get her moved down here. But it's just not showing. There was a point of time she could've come down, but she waited too late when we got hit with snowmageddon in Texas. Now, the only thing stopping her is herself. "I feel like shit." Which I understand, she hasn't taken her medicine but she admitted she'll feel like this too once she begins again. So....now what?

Honestly, I had just enough gas money to get her, come back and be good til mt next check but...I really don't think she's coming this week or even the next. I mean, I use to be hopeful about it. But then my own crew saw this before I have and started cracking jokes...even my boss pulled me aside and asked if I knew what I had gotten in to.

I'm still waiting, and I'm being careful not to splurge or go on a trip by myself somewhere to relax since there's the chance she'll say, "I'm ready, let's go." But if not tomorrow, I'm just gonna go on a road trip to get away from all this. I need a break from work and a distraction from being away from her.