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I Have Family Issues

You hate me. You criticise me about "not working" (when I am employed but on furlough because of covid19) and that I sleep at 2pm which isnt true as I wake up at 9 or 10am everyday, even though I dont sleep well nowadays. You tell my 13 y/o half-brother I dont work when you are mad, making me seem like a bad person. Please dont tell my brother this, he doesnt understand what furlough is. You treat your biological kid nicer than you treat me.

I have tried to talk to you because I want to resolve things, we are in the middle of a pandemic and with everything going on in the world right now, this isnt ideal. You dont want to listen, but you get angry when I talk to my dad about how I'm feeling about our conflict. Who am I supposed to turn to if not you or any of my family members? You talk badly about me to your mum, my step gran who now doesnt like me by the sounds of it even though there is always 2 sides to every story.

You bring up how at my age you were pregnant and married (then you much later went on to do your education). I want to do my education before settling down, it doesnt make me less mature than you. Heck, there are people I know who had children under the age of 18, doesnt make them more mature than myself. I dont even know if I want kids.

I feel uncomfortable with you. I try to avoid you as best as possible. One time I broke down and cried and walked away to cool down, you criticised me for showing my emotion, even though as a psychology student I know that there is a mechanism for crying, I've even seen you cry before. Crying produces endorphins. It's not bad to cry. I feel relieved when I cry when things have been too tough.

I hope one day I can cut all contact with you. I would rather us sort out things but you dont want to listen to the other side. To me communication is a large part of being a family. I consider my friends more than a family than you are.

I've had bad experiences with both my birth mum (left when I was a baby) and my step mum (who this post is centred around). I've never had a healthy mother figure, but I hope one day if I become a mum, I will learn from my bad experiences and be a loving caring person who will listen to her children's side of things, even if I dont want to. Communication is key, but you cant communicate with someone who has a wall they've built in front of them.


Ignore the typos, and obviously theres more negative situations that could be shared but this was more just a rant. My step mum wont hear me out so I guess this was just a way to fill the void of having her not listen.
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curiosi · 61-69, F
I'm very sorry. Glad you have this place to let it out.
MissMoon · 26-30, F
@curiosi Thanks :) It feels so good to vent honestly