I Am Searching For Something
M Search For Enlightenment
A friend and I were talking today about our dreams. I have asked many people in my life about what their biggest dreams are. Most say earn enough to retire and travel, or pay off their mortgage, find "the one" or get a bigger, better job.
It became clear to me several years ago that while those type things are definitely nice goals, the problem is that they are all inwardly focused things.
Now I don't judge them because that is their path and the path they are on is their individual life journey. I don't think mine, our yours, or our neighbors' have a greater or lesser value.
I think that is the root of so much conflict in the world. We humans always try to compare and rationalize. That is a good thing on many levels. It is that type of reasoning that created the very technology that made this post possible; using an iPhone on the process.
I decided several years ago that my life goal would be to try to find true enlightenment.
Enlightenment is defined
as to give intellectual or spiritual light to;or to instruct; impart knowledge to.
Over the last few years I have spent much time reading about this topic and at first struggled trying to find the "brand" that what would fit me best. I read about Maharishi Yogi, the pioneer in transcendental meditation from the 60's and 70's. He modeled much of his teaching Brahmananda_Saraswati a famous guru and Swami from the 1800's. And early 1900's. Saraswati himself modeled much of his theology after Adi Shankara, the man credited by history as the one who consolidated the basic tenants of Hinduism.
In my studies, and quest to find the perfect theology for myself I was trying to answer some very age old questions that burned in my curiosity like a raging fire.
1. What is my purpose?
2. Why am I here?
3. Why do bad things happen to all people?
4. How can my life be important amidst a virtual sea of people?
5. What is consciousness?
6. What, if anything, is beyond this life that is only a mist in time?
7. Why are their so many religions?
8. What does true happiness consist of or is it a myth?
9. What is love? Why does it often hurt so much while simultaneously feeling fantastic?
10. How can I be a better man?
Now I am confident I will never be a fully enlightened person. It is this that made me take a new approach.
It slowly, over time dawned on me that I was looking linearly. Perhaps, for my own individual journey, that the reason no one dogma, theology, or religion, would work for me.
Then it hit me. Virtually every religion or theory that I had read about valued their beliefs at the expense or dismissal of others.
This created conflict for me because I had begun to believe that we humans, and every living thing are connected.
Every atom in our bodies was once cosmic dust floating in space, until it coalesced due to other matter due to gravity. Eventually the dust became small pebbles of frozen ice, dust, carbon, hydrogen, etc. then, over time we became a planet. From those atoms sprung up life, and as I have often said to my friends, sprung us. As we gaze at the stars, the retina that captures the moons light reflected from the sun, the light from stars that left that star during the time of the dinosaurs, it make me realize the masterpiece that is life. We gaze as stardust upon the heavens as an ironic example of the universe examining itself.
That connectivity that we all share is dulled, mitigated, obfuscated, and hijacked, when we devote too much time to the pursuit of things that will have no value when we once again become dust
That being said I realized that I wanted the answers to those questions so that I might add some value to the dash on my tombstone that will be lodged between my birth and my death. That little dash represents to me opportunity. Opportunity for me to learn, to love, to find beauty in the most mundane things.
As a person with a history of panic attacks, ADD, and depression, I can tell you that this pursuit has changed my life. I am no smarter, or richer monetarily, but I do have the beginnings of an inner contentment that I have not known before.
When I was younger, I would see a homeless person and have negative thoughts about them. I judged people. I have come to realize that it is easier to love that person. In doing so, and approaching life like that, life becomes easier. At least for me in my own individual sojourn.
I am s person who actually studies and ponders things like space time, Gravity, quantum physics. The more I learn, the more confirmation I get that the beautiful order of everything combined with the mad chaos of the quantum world is a wonderful allegory for life.
Ultimately what I have learned is that having an inner focus to become knowledgeable (within myself introspectively) and having deep inner peace leads to a corresponding outward focus that touches people in more beautiful ways than before I started this journey.
Patrick
A friend and I were talking today about our dreams. I have asked many people in my life about what their biggest dreams are. Most say earn enough to retire and travel, or pay off their mortgage, find "the one" or get a bigger, better job.
It became clear to me several years ago that while those type things are definitely nice goals, the problem is that they are all inwardly focused things.
Now I don't judge them because that is their path and the path they are on is their individual life journey. I don't think mine, our yours, or our neighbors' have a greater or lesser value.
I think that is the root of so much conflict in the world. We humans always try to compare and rationalize. That is a good thing on many levels. It is that type of reasoning that created the very technology that made this post possible; using an iPhone on the process.
I decided several years ago that my life goal would be to try to find true enlightenment.
Enlightenment is defined
as to give intellectual or spiritual light to;or to instruct; impart knowledge to.
Over the last few years I have spent much time reading about this topic and at first struggled trying to find the "brand" that what would fit me best. I read about Maharishi Yogi, the pioneer in transcendental meditation from the 60's and 70's. He modeled much of his teaching Brahmananda_Saraswati a famous guru and Swami from the 1800's. And early 1900's. Saraswati himself modeled much of his theology after Adi Shankara, the man credited by history as the one who consolidated the basic tenants of Hinduism.
In my studies, and quest to find the perfect theology for myself I was trying to answer some very age old questions that burned in my curiosity like a raging fire.
1. What is my purpose?
2. Why am I here?
3. Why do bad things happen to all people?
4. How can my life be important amidst a virtual sea of people?
5. What is consciousness?
6. What, if anything, is beyond this life that is only a mist in time?
7. Why are their so many religions?
8. What does true happiness consist of or is it a myth?
9. What is love? Why does it often hurt so much while simultaneously feeling fantastic?
10. How can I be a better man?
Now I am confident I will never be a fully enlightened person. It is this that made me take a new approach.
It slowly, over time dawned on me that I was looking linearly. Perhaps, for my own individual journey, that the reason no one dogma, theology, or religion, would work for me.
Then it hit me. Virtually every religion or theory that I had read about valued their beliefs at the expense or dismissal of others.
This created conflict for me because I had begun to believe that we humans, and every living thing are connected.
Every atom in our bodies was once cosmic dust floating in space, until it coalesced due to other matter due to gravity. Eventually the dust became small pebbles of frozen ice, dust, carbon, hydrogen, etc. then, over time we became a planet. From those atoms sprung up life, and as I have often said to my friends, sprung us. As we gaze at the stars, the retina that captures the moons light reflected from the sun, the light from stars that left that star during the time of the dinosaurs, it make me realize the masterpiece that is life. We gaze as stardust upon the heavens as an ironic example of the universe examining itself.
That connectivity that we all share is dulled, mitigated, obfuscated, and hijacked, when we devote too much time to the pursuit of things that will have no value when we once again become dust
That being said I realized that I wanted the answers to those questions so that I might add some value to the dash on my tombstone that will be lodged between my birth and my death. That little dash represents to me opportunity. Opportunity for me to learn, to love, to find beauty in the most mundane things.
As a person with a history of panic attacks, ADD, and depression, I can tell you that this pursuit has changed my life. I am no smarter, or richer monetarily, but I do have the beginnings of an inner contentment that I have not known before.
When I was younger, I would see a homeless person and have negative thoughts about them. I judged people. I have come to realize that it is easier to love that person. In doing so, and approaching life like that, life becomes easier. At least for me in my own individual sojourn.
I am s person who actually studies and ponders things like space time, Gravity, quantum physics. The more I learn, the more confirmation I get that the beautiful order of everything combined with the mad chaos of the quantum world is a wonderful allegory for life.
Ultimately what I have learned is that having an inner focus to become knowledgeable (within myself introspectively) and having deep inner peace leads to a corresponding outward focus that touches people in more beautiful ways than before I started this journey.
Patrick
51-55, M
