I Love Animals

Today I took my border collie,Cass,for a walk through some woodland and fields,then in a beautiful park which has many deer running free.I love walking Cass,its when she really comes alive,and we have various wind up games we have developed in the years together.Her favourite is the stick gamewhere I pick a suitable stick (the bigger the better!)and then demonstrate to Cass how this stick is MY stick by tapping it against trees and swishing it through the grass.Well,shes not having any of it and charges me,at which point I scream and throw the stick as far from my person as possible.She retrieves the stick,then delights in me making gutteral caveman type grunts,getting louder and faster the nearer I get,then trots at a pace she knows is always just beyond my reach.I call her "Fancy Bum,because she has two patches on her rear which look like two eyes,eyes in her behind!And she does her strut which is unmistakably saying"Look!Look!Who has the stick now,HA!"
This carries on for a while,then when she feels she has humiliated me enough,she will pretend to have niffed something particularly interesting,and drops the stick while following the scent.This is my cue!My big chance to get the stick back and flaunt it in front of her!Acting casually and humming some innocent type tune,I gradually close the distance between me and the stick,always taking care never to look at it until I am a few feet off THEN I RUN DESPERATELY FOR THE STICK!
....She has it timed to perfection,her animal cunning tellingher the last possible moment she can leave it before sprinting up and snatching the stick inches from my outstretched arms.I howl with caveman frustration,then do my pathetic human best to catch her.She never trots any more than the minimum needed to stay out of reach,and is in Fancy Bum heaven...