triggered from a time stamp

12:22am.

dont know how long it will take me to publish this.

but I clicked my phones "on" button, it didnt come on. annoyed I pressed harder. The display came on.

12:22am.

and I have people I want to reply to.

but that, time...

I gotta write this out first,

Im brought back to christmas time after my dad died. the glowing lights... i put up christmas lights that first year...never felt it much after....but,

i was on some sort of school christmas break, and i felt the warm glow of the christmas lights, and....it just felt so warm. i got to stay up late and do what I wanted

i was making chocolate chip pancakes.

my mom was at work.

no one else was home.

my pancakes started to burn.

i panicked and ran with the pan to the back door...

i held the screen door open with my left hand....and flapped the pan up and down outside with my right hand..

well....pan met my left wrist.

a seared burn right in the bone.

and its actually still there....i guess almost 20 years now.

and in a weird way it helps me remember my dad so I dont mind.

but its so odd that we have these random memories that stick.


and good or bad....especially if bad... can you move past them?

EDIT: i would almost get it tattooed on me just to keep him alive.

just, anything