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I Lack a Sense of Family With My Family

Hello everyone. I am sorry for that story but that was the only site i found that i could talk anonymously. So as soon as i can:

I am christine and i am 25 y.o. I leave in my house with my two parents and next to us stay my uncle (dads brother ) and his wife with their daughter,natalie ,and one son (my cousins) . We have a really good relationship with all of them (natalie is one of my best friends too.)

The problems started in the 15th of july when i started to do practise in my uncles office so as to have some money for my summer vacation at 25 of August. The problem is that my uncle those 15 days have already groped me 4 times (one today morning ) I dont know what the hell but the third day when i went to the office he said good morning touching me on my shoulder and as he was talking to me he slipped his hand down above my butt and grabbed me for a while letting me silence and frozen. But as i didnt know what to do i continue to talk to him. It has been repeated 3 times those days in different occasions and i really don't know what to do

a. Tell smthing maybe will be followed by fire and argue of 2 families
b. Be patient until 15 of August when i stop working ?

Any expert for advice ? Thanks in advance.

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Somewhereovertherainbow · 46-50, F

Tell him to stop touching you inappropriately, you should not ignore it, if you say nothing he'll think it's ok and take it further...

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

The best time to speak up is RIGHT WHEN IT HAPPENED. The second best time is RIGHT NOW.

If there is trouble in your family, YOU will NOT be the cause of that trouble; it is your uncle who is causing the trouble, NOT YOU!

It is not worth it to put up with this. Skip your vacation if you have to.

If you think no one will believe you, put your cell phone on video recording mode and catch it on video. And when you do tell your parents, or whomever you do tell, you can remind them that many young women would go directly to the police about this kind of thing.

Of course, you could decide to be nice about this and have a firm, clear assertive talk to your uncle about this behavior. If you are clear and firm, not accepting any excuses or arguments from him, maybe he will stop. But, just to make sure, quietly record the discussion on your cell phone.

Please don't just let this go on. You have a right to your own body. Your dignity should not be the price you pay for family harmony or a vacation. It is precious. Take care of yourself.

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REMsleep · 41-45, F

Tell someone you trust such as your mother(since its not her brother) that some uncomfortable stuff has happened with your Uncle. If you want, dont tell her everything, just tell her that your Uncle has made you feel uncomfortable. You can tell her the whole truth if you feel that she is level headed and won't blow it all out of control. Then ask your Uncle to speak privately.
Tell your uncle that while he's a great guy he had better not get too close in the future. Tell him everything is fine as long as he keeps his hands to himself.
If he lies on you to your family then you have already told your mom before hand or who ever you choose the truth so that they can back you up. If uncle stays calm then this can just stop right here with no further issues.
Do not let this continue. Do not let him take power over your body. Fight. You will regret oneday if you allow his behavior and say nothing. Also, he will think that he is not so bad cuz you stand still and dont say anything to him.

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REMsleep · 41-45, F

@jijijiijill SHE seems really worried about destroying her family and while what you are saying is true life is not that easy. I have alot of first hand experience with sexual misconduct in families.That is why I worded it that way. Only because she does want everything to blow up. She even listed staying on to work for him(surely she would be alone with him at some point if she does stay) as an option.
She can be much harsher but will the family believe her side of things? Will her father hate his brother?
What will happen to her cousin who is also her best friend? That's why I suggest to start with a less extreme approach.

This message was deleted by its author.

Christine25 · 31-35, F

@jijijiijill pff i thing you are right. But many problems will come :/ thats my really dilema :'(

This message was deleted by its author.

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