I Lack a Sense of Family With My Family
I always have. Even better know when I have told them exactly what caused my spiral into having low self esteem developing depression, social anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, and sleep problems. Yet do they listen and finally understand? No!!! They think it's dude to undiagnosed mental illness and that I need a psychiatric assessment to correctly identify any underlying problems nor to be misdiagnosed. Oh of course!
And here is the kicker my family thinks I might have schizophrenia or some Type of disorder in which I can't tell reality from fantasy from reality. I hate my family I absolutely feel rage and resentment just looking at them. I always felt conflicted between loving them and resenting them over the years but now the hatred is just growing stronger. They provided for me financially and all the trappings of material luxuries and comforts I could have ever needed. I was more than grateful for that ok. Do you what I wanted from my family the entire time? For my family to simply understand who I am and not see me as defective and or having anything wrong with me. I craved validation and affirmation and I never got it!
And here is the kicker my family thinks I might have schizophrenia or some Type of disorder in which I can't tell reality from fantasy from reality. I hate my family I absolutely feel rage and resentment just looking at them. I always felt conflicted between loving them and resenting them over the years but now the hatred is just growing stronger. They provided for me financially and all the trappings of material luxuries and comforts I could have ever needed. I was more than grateful for that ok. Do you what I wanted from my family the entire time? For my family to simply understand who I am and not see me as defective and or having anything wrong with me. I craved validation and affirmation and I never got it!
