My daughter asked for some pigs for her 13th Birthday; being a doting Dad I was keen to please her and within a few days we had set off to a breeder to look at some Kune Kune piglets - a "small" Island breed of pig.
We soon found an un-related female and entire male from different locations and before long Rosie and Jake were happily accommodated at the bottom of the garden in a wooded area.
My daughter's plan was to keep Rosie and Jake as our breeding stock and raise piglets for sale - well we had both really not reckoned on Jake not being up to the job. He could get it up ok, but just didn't seem to be able to get it on with Rosie. As they occupied a space at the bottom of the garden this didn't bother us too much - we came to see them as friendly garden ornaments.
Over the next couple of years they cleared the wooded area of weeds, were always really friendly, ate any food or garden waste, even protected the hens from the local foxes.
At about this time I discovered EP - totally by mistake as it happens it coincided with daughters last year of school and her heading off to Uni, leaving me very much looking after her pigs.
I made a few great friends on EP; meanwhile Rosie was getting more and more fed up with Jake's lack of performance. Each time she came into season she would get more and more interested in finding a friend that could do the business. She would push and probe the fence seemingly determined to escape. I spent more and more time strengthening the fencing as the months passed.
One Saturday morning the postman knocked the door and asked if my pigs were missing - he had nearly ran over some down by the main road about a mile away. I checked - of course they had gone. I called the local police to report them missing and set out scouring the local countryside looking for them. Rattling a bucket with pig food and calling high and low - "Here pig, pig pig"
If they did wander on to a road they were big enough to cause a dangerous obstacle for any car. I was keen to find them as soon as possible. After just a few minutes as I rounded a bend in the path through a wood parallel to the lane as a police 4x4 drew level with me beyond the hedge with its windscreen lowering and the officer in the passenger seat looking very concerned said to me "are you looking for two pigs" ....... they had found them.
The escapees were recaptured and returned home - significant fencing enhancements were undertaken.
My friendships on EP continued - one particular friendship became very special and we agreed to meet - we got on really well and had a lovely time - we met again and it was clear that something really good was possible - a third meeting was arranged - a whole day out, when Rosie struck again ........
Morals from this story: Be careful, keeping one person happy can lead to un-happiness for several others. If you do want to start a new chapter, finish the one you are on first. If you are starting a new hobby make sure the equipment works. Be careful if calling names - you never know.
A month later Rosie and Jake left for a new home - (one of the saddest days of my life) - Rosie met a new hansom boar that could do the business - Jake it turns out was very tasty.
The names of those included in this story have been changed to protect their anonymity. Some of this story is fiction.
