I Have Something to Say
Just a random letter for him that I will never send... just need to get it off my chest:
"It's been a year since we last spoke.
I still can't believe our friendship meant nothing to you and that you found me to be so repulsive and awkward enough to avoid being around me, letalone see your friends because you were afraid of being embarrassed by my presence.
Despite that, I still care about you. If you came back to start over... I'd give you that second-chance (well, technically third.)
I don't know how you could act so lovey-dovey at first, then do a 180 and treat me like dirt that's not even good enough to be on the bottom of your shoes.
I don't know how you could attempt to manipulate me and later accuse me of doing the very things you were doing the whole time (playing mind-games, manipulation, being contradictory, etc.)
I still care about you very deeply, even though I meant absolutely nothing to you and I might as well have never entered your life -- because I made absolutely no difference in it and you always viewed me as an object, not a fellow human-being worthy of care nor as a friend, even though you told me I was a close friend.
You confided in me your insecurities and secrets. I've kept them sealed in my vault.
Most of all, I still don't understand why you haven't gone on a smear campaign. You told me that if someone upsets you that you try to cause trouble/drama for them... I don't know why you haven't gone after me. I became paranoid for a time after our major fight, believing that you were going to turn everyone against me.
Unless you have but no one's said anything. But I feel you haven't. Why haven't you made a move? [i]Did[/i] I have an effect?
Either way, I don't understand any of this. I know you well enough, but not to the core.
I still miss you."
"It's been a year since we last spoke.
I still can't believe our friendship meant nothing to you and that you found me to be so repulsive and awkward enough to avoid being around me, letalone see your friends because you were afraid of being embarrassed by my presence.
Despite that, I still care about you. If you came back to start over... I'd give you that second-chance (well, technically third.)
I don't know how you could act so lovey-dovey at first, then do a 180 and treat me like dirt that's not even good enough to be on the bottom of your shoes.
I don't know how you could attempt to manipulate me and later accuse me of doing the very things you were doing the whole time (playing mind-games, manipulation, being contradictory, etc.)
I still care about you very deeply, even though I meant absolutely nothing to you and I might as well have never entered your life -- because I made absolutely no difference in it and you always viewed me as an object, not a fellow human-being worthy of care nor as a friend, even though you told me I was a close friend.
You confided in me your insecurities and secrets. I've kept them sealed in my vault.
Most of all, I still don't understand why you haven't gone on a smear campaign. You told me that if someone upsets you that you try to cause trouble/drama for them... I don't know why you haven't gone after me. I became paranoid for a time after our major fight, believing that you were going to turn everyone against me.
Unless you have but no one's said anything. But I feel you haven't. Why haven't you made a move? [i]Did[/i] I have an effect?
Either way, I don't understand any of this. I know you well enough, but not to the core.
I still miss you."
31-35
