I Am Going Through An Existential Crisis
Can't sleep, back to the existential "crisis" again. It's strange when you literally can't think of a decent reason to exist and you aren't depressed. I stick around for family because i'm sort of obliged to, not that i'd even want to kill myself either but I have no idea what to do with this life.
If your biological drive is to procreate and you don't care about that or are unable to feel that towards other people then the scientific reason is out of the picture.
Then that leaves passions/drives, but if you doubt yourself too much and feel neutral in general then these are also out of the question outside of personal hobbies.
Outside of that you'd just be living for endorphin releases and mindlessly consuming foods/culture/media in order to either fill a void or to find some kind of meaning from it. It's partly what the consumption of drugs does, it creates a feedback loop of goals and rewards and replaces passion where there was or was not.
For some though it's a reason to even get up in the morning or bother, it fills the space where there is nothing. Damaging? yes but for some there's a feeling of nothing to lose.
Couldn't really get into drugs again now, but i ask myself sometimes why..
I can't trust people by basic human nature, I can't "love" anyone like i once did, and i don't care about a lot of things in life most people care about and if i imagine a life in the future it tends to be one that is depicted culturally as being desirable when in reality it seems either impossible or implausable.
Thinking sucks sometimes..
If your biological drive is to procreate and you don't care about that or are unable to feel that towards other people then the scientific reason is out of the picture.
Then that leaves passions/drives, but if you doubt yourself too much and feel neutral in general then these are also out of the question outside of personal hobbies.
Outside of that you'd just be living for endorphin releases and mindlessly consuming foods/culture/media in order to either fill a void or to find some kind of meaning from it. It's partly what the consumption of drugs does, it creates a feedback loop of goals and rewards and replaces passion where there was or was not.
For some though it's a reason to even get up in the morning or bother, it fills the space where there is nothing. Damaging? yes but for some there's a feeling of nothing to lose.
Couldn't really get into drugs again now, but i ask myself sometimes why..
I can't trust people by basic human nature, I can't "love" anyone like i once did, and i don't care about a lot of things in life most people care about and if i imagine a life in the future it tends to be one that is depicted culturally as being desirable when in reality it seems either impossible or implausable.
Thinking sucks sometimes..
