People say we need to forgive those who have wronged us. But when does forgiveness actually occur?

I was thinking of the following situation. A man murders a college student. The murderer disposed of the victim's body in an undisclosed location. The murderer is sentenced to life in prison. The victim's father gets to a point where he has forgiven the murderer. Or has he? The father still pressures the murderer to disclose the location of his daughter's body so the family can get closure. Has the father truly forgiven the murderer? Should the father leave the murderer alone and not try to find the location of his daughter's remains?

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SW-User

You’d never know. Forgiving means having no feeling of anger in your heart towards the culprit. I highly doubt any human would attain such stage where they won’t go through all those emotions knowing someone has been that brutal to a loved one. He must be still very uneasy from inside. Having said that, that monster doesn’t deserve forgiveness.

flipper1966 · M

@SW-User They say that forgiveness is for you -- not the person you are forgiving.

SW-User

They say a lot of things. They are usually the ones who are happy to see bad things happen unless it happens to them. Then all their wisdom goes out of the window in no time. @flipper1966

bijouxbroussard · F

@SW-User “Remorse” would have to come from the forgiven, not the person wronged.

quitwhendone · M

I wouldn't forgive him until he apologized, showed remorse and said where the body is.

flipper1966 · M

@quitwhendone Maybe the father thought that if he told the man he forgave him, that might persuade him to give up the information.

quitwhendone · M

@flipper1966 Maybe.

TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 41-45, MVIP

eye for an eye.. and i dont care if it makes the whole world blind.. get out your walking canes..

wildbill83 · 36-40, M

to me, it's not vengeance, it's justice. Seems silly to me to forgive someone for something that continually causes grief (especially if they do it again to someone else)

so I'd make certain that the Hell they'd go to would seem like Heaven after I got done with them... 🤔

Carissimi · 70-79, F

Forgiveness and closure are two different things. To me, forgiveness is not wanting revenge, so in your example, the father does not want revenge, but he does need to know where his daughter is.

flipper1966 · M

@Carissimi Good point.

bijouxbroussard · F

Two different circumstances. Just because the man may’ve forgiven the killer and no longer wants his head doesn’t mean he doesn’t [b]also[/b] want to give his daughter a proper burial and lay her to rest. The killer cannot give back the life he has taken, [b]she[/b] is gone forever. He can at least be worthy of some forgiveness by providing her father with the information he seeks.

DukeOfEarle · M

Forgive the sinner. But not the sin.

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