Am I just lonely?

My ex/son's dad and I have been split for a few years now. Lately I've been really bummed with life and thinking about him. Mostly because he is still my friend and the only one I want to be around, the only one who listens, who cares, who is supportive and accepting. He still annoys the shit out of me, but life with him wasn't all that bad. I don't dare say a word because I wonder if I'm just lonely and I trust him. On the other hand, I'm lonely and I trust him... I'm so confused why I feel this way about him.

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Gh0s1

In times of loneliness I always find myself imagining and missing my ex, i think it's only natural to think of these kind of things in those times. I think once you have a bond with somebody you'll always have those feelings for them, even if its not in your best interests.
It's hard when you have that person that you can just be your real self with and they're like the best friend you can't be around, life is strange..
Though obviously yours is a deeper bond than mine due to it's nature, but i get part of what you're feeling.

I think maybe you could meet more people, but then i say that to myself every day and i don't/don't know how to anymore if i'm being honest. Tis a conundrum...

StokedFox · 36-40, F

@Gh0s1 you are right. I truly miss being around someone I can trust

Gh0s1

@StokedFox Me too man. I think we'll both find that again, though the difficult part is not looking too far into the distance as we can never see it from where we are right now.
Maybe try and reconnect with him if it helps, just as a friendship.

chuck7882 · 61-69, M

Sounds to me like if he was receptive, and you wanted to give it another try, maybe you both have seen that life apart from each other is a lot worse than life with each other.

StokedFox · 36-40, F

@chuck7882 I don't know. We're very very different. It was hard sometimes. But... I just don't know :(

fun4us2b · M

It's hard, based on what you say above maybe you haven't moved on yet...and maybe that made you unavailable to others? Either way - if you found someone good, would you be feeling this way? That's the question -

SW-User

I can relate as i feel a similar way about my ex. I think you want something to fill the void and you realise how he filled it. But sadly it comes with baggage.

DarlingSelah ·

I dont understand why 2 people cant get along.

And you have a mutual interest...idk.

Its better than being lonely..?

StokedFox · 36-40, F

@DarlingSelah he creates anxiety, it's just him. Anxiety kills me. Plus I like being alone a lot. Our activity levels are very different. What we eat. Our interests. I'm very depressed right now and I wonder if that's the reason I am thinking of him so much. But truth is, he's the only person that never ditched me.

SW-User

How did he lose your trust the first time?

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StokedFox · 36-40, F

@SW-User and my ex's too. I don't want to hurt him all over again. It's always best if I just keep quiet and suffer. Keeps things simple.

SW-User

@StokedFox It almost sounds like you're controlling everything. That's not good either.

StokedFox · 36-40, F

@SW-User I have no control. Over anything. I just protect.

Primnproper · 56-60, F

Do you honestly think if you had someone else you would still be pining over your ex..

StokedFox · 36-40, F

@Primnproper had someone else? He's the father of my child, he'll always be there. As far as a bf/gf, I have tried, but they all make me want to be alone.

Primnproper · 56-60, F

@StokedFox then it sounds more like you want him to fill a void you have..we can't use people for that, we need to find that contented part within ourselves first..

Reject · 26-30, M

Who broke it off?

StokedFox · 36-40, F

@Reject it was mutual, we weren't happy together at the time. He's very calculated and vocal. I'm laid back and quiet.

Reject · 26-30, M

@StokedFox I see. I think you're just lonely. If you weren't, then you wouldn't even be entertaining those ideas.

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