I Am Jealous
At least that's what I think this is? She is so perfect. The most beautiful girl I've ever met. I'm so thankful that she chose me to take care of her. I am her "Mommy" and she is my "Little Girl". A dynamic that not a lot of people understand or even try to understand. But I won't let others drag our relationship down. My relationship... My mind makes me feel like I'm in two: with my boyfriends and with her. He knows about my Little Girl, he allows me to express those overwhelming maternal feelings through her. She doesn't mind him either. It's perfect. Everything that twinge of anger I fell when other girls interact with her. Selfish? Probably. This shit is crazy considering I barely feel any threat when a female approaches my boyfriend. Yet when it's her, I'm ready to fight.
We tell eachother "I love you" when she's in her littlespace. When we aren't in that part of our lives it's a simple heart ❤️ After we say our goodbyes. Though sometimes I wish I had the nerve to tell her that I love her all the time, not just through a symbol.
I am a new, high school graduate, going off to college in August. She is still in High School. It's the end of the year and as every student knows, teachers throw in the big projects and assignments. It's stressing her out. In return it's hurting me. She doesn't talk as much nor does she feel little. I'm ok with that as it's completely understandable. I don't always feel like Mommy and she doesn't always feel Little. It was recently expressed to me that she felt bad for not being in the mindset. I reassured her that it was normal and all that. It's hard being so far away from her as it seems it's the same thing over and over. Hard to have new scenarios. But I'm trying. Just doesn't seem like enough to keep her. I am scared that she is going to leave me. A huge fear of mine. The most perfect girl/little will leave me and I will be broken. Just as if my boyfriend were to leave me.
I seen something that made me upset. "Was it directed to me?" "Was it directed to others?" "She'd tell me wouldn't she?" "Does she trusts me?" "Am I over reacting?" "What can I do?" Just so many question cloud my thoughts. I'm scared. I'm jealous of others in her life. But if they make her happy I shouldn't be... Right?
We tell eachother "I love you" when she's in her littlespace. When we aren't in that part of our lives it's a simple heart ❤️ After we say our goodbyes. Though sometimes I wish I had the nerve to tell her that I love her all the time, not just through a symbol.
I am a new, high school graduate, going off to college in August. She is still in High School. It's the end of the year and as every student knows, teachers throw in the big projects and assignments. It's stressing her out. In return it's hurting me. She doesn't talk as much nor does she feel little. I'm ok with that as it's completely understandable. I don't always feel like Mommy and she doesn't always feel Little. It was recently expressed to me that she felt bad for not being in the mindset. I reassured her that it was normal and all that. It's hard being so far away from her as it seems it's the same thing over and over. Hard to have new scenarios. But I'm trying. Just doesn't seem like enough to keep her. I am scared that she is going to leave me. A huge fear of mine. The most perfect girl/little will leave me and I will be broken. Just as if my boyfriend were to leave me.
I seen something that made me upset. "Was it directed to me?" "Was it directed to others?" "She'd tell me wouldn't she?" "Does she trusts me?" "Am I over reacting?" "What can I do?" Just so many question cloud my thoughts. I'm scared. I'm jealous of others in her life. But if they make her happy I shouldn't be... Right?
22-25, F
