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I Like Puns

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
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