I Love Helping Others But I Need Help Back Sometimes Too

When You Dig Another Out Of Their Troubles, You Find A Place To Bury Your Own... My daughter’s preschool class did a project for mother’s day where the teacher asked the children questions about their mothers and then wrote the answers down for them word-for-word. They end up saying the cutest things, she said that I was 16yr old, I weigh 3lbs. and my favorite TV show is Spongebob Squarepants. When my 3yr old daughter’s teacher asked her what my job is, she said that I fix things for a living. I work the front office of a real estate management company. Naturally, I thought it was a bit odd that she thinks I fix things for a living. From her perspective, If she comes to me with her stuffed puppy, crying because our dog chewed a hole in it, I sew it. If my husband is upset about spilling red wine on his favorite white dress-shirt, I tell him not to worry, it isn’t ruined because I can get it out. My oldest comes home crying after she dyed her hair bright red because she doesn’t like the way it turned out, I immediately jump in and save her hair. I can’t help it. I care too much about other people’s happiness. It is like a compulsion and I have done it ever since I was a little girl. I am even worse when it comes to relationship problems, the instant I see a couple not talking to each other, I get the story from one party, then the other and play mediator for the two. It has even gotten to the point where other people call me to help with other people’s relationship issues. Recently, my mother called to tell me that my sister and her husband were publicly fighting on FaceBook, because she knows that I can’t help but jump in and fix the problem. Usually, I like this knack I have for fixing things but for some reason, my powers are useless in my own life. They act as more of a hindrance than an assistance to me. If I am wronged by anyone, in any way, I always lose the battle. I just can’t stay mad at people. I should hold out till they apologize but I honestly can’t take the anxiety that builds up. The compulsion to fix the situation is too powerful for me to be able to sit with, it festers in the pit of my stomach and won’t stop growing till I finish the work that I was put here to do… and that is to keep the peace.
But… I keep being told that this is wrong, that I need to stop helping others because I am losing myself. I have a talent for helping others, but it is wasted anytime I attempt to help myself… You would think that after all the people that I have helped over the years… That someone would help me through this. Not a single person has even attempted! It is so frustrating to have fixed everything and everyone around me, but not be able to fix myself.