I Suffer From Chronic Pain
To start this is not all about my pain but how hard it has been living for me as well. I'll start off with the good. I have a loving mother and a few good family members who keep me going. An awesome friend or two. They all are the reason I keep trying even though I live in pain that is hard to describe every day.
How to describe my pain? I feel great when I wake up for about an hour but then it goes downhill after there, steadily getting worse and so intolerable that I have to lay down, nap, or sleep to relieve myself from it. I had a spinal fusion when I was 18 to correct scoliosis(curvatures) but I think the underlying problem is my Marfan Syndrome. It is a connective tissue disorder so my joints EVERYWHERE start hurting. Especially in my back ankles, wrists, and neck. It becomes so unbearable I have shooting pains to my brain and it feels like my brain is swelling inside my head that I get a lot of pressure there and bad headaches and just want lay down or sleep. Maybe it is pressure on my nervous system and spine. I don't know but it hurts so bad I don't want to do anything. There lies my problem. I struggle with everyday and my joints hurt worse when the weather plays games(like hot to cold or cold to hot.)
I wanted to get a job but have had no luck. Every time I apply I get turned down. A job would be my real test I think to see if I could work but I can't bend well or lift so I have to be picky. I have little to no work experience as well which is my biggest negative. I just need to do my best is all I know and keep looking but the pain I have is frustrating at times.
I just don't have much help. Except my mother and brother which are good people. My brother has Aspbergers and his own problems but we help each other. I am 30 though and live with them still and it is a lil stressful for me and sad as well because I feel almost trapped sometimes or like a burden.
I never had anyone give me much in life. I'm not angry though but grateful. I may have had little but I am always thankful for anything and I guess that that experience made me humble.
I did get a GED at least after my surgery and am happy for that. I'll keep trying my best so I can achieve my goal of starting a family myself someday! I somehow have hope even when I'm at rock bottom. Thanks everyone who reads!
How to describe my pain? I feel great when I wake up for about an hour but then it goes downhill after there, steadily getting worse and so intolerable that I have to lay down, nap, or sleep to relieve myself from it. I had a spinal fusion when I was 18 to correct scoliosis(curvatures) but I think the underlying problem is my Marfan Syndrome. It is a connective tissue disorder so my joints EVERYWHERE start hurting. Especially in my back ankles, wrists, and neck. It becomes so unbearable I have shooting pains to my brain and it feels like my brain is swelling inside my head that I get a lot of pressure there and bad headaches and just want lay down or sleep. Maybe it is pressure on my nervous system and spine. I don't know but it hurts so bad I don't want to do anything. There lies my problem. I struggle with everyday and my joints hurt worse when the weather plays games(like hot to cold or cold to hot.)
I wanted to get a job but have had no luck. Every time I apply I get turned down. A job would be my real test I think to see if I could work but I can't bend well or lift so I have to be picky. I have little to no work experience as well which is my biggest negative. I just need to do my best is all I know and keep looking but the pain I have is frustrating at times.
I just don't have much help. Except my mother and brother which are good people. My brother has Aspbergers and his own problems but we help each other. I am 30 though and live with them still and it is a lil stressful for me and sad as well because I feel almost trapped sometimes or like a burden.
I never had anyone give me much in life. I'm not angry though but grateful. I may have had little but I am always thankful for anything and I guess that that experience made me humble.
I did get a GED at least after my surgery and am happy for that. I'll keep trying my best so I can achieve my goal of starting a family myself someday! I somehow have hope even when I'm at rock bottom. Thanks everyone who reads!
36-40, M
