We are all forced to adapt to this life as a consequence of an action our parents took. Why forced? It wasn’t our choice to be here. In fact, we didn’t originally choose, ask, or pick to exist, our body, mind, instincts, the world, and what this world contains. Then we are born and we are constantly reprimanded for being “_____________” when we are not doing what our elders want. We are told what to do 24-7 since at an early age we don’t know how or why to survive or what is going on. Then for the rest of our lives what we will hear is, “Listen, I want you to, you should, will you please.” It makes people stressed but if they don’t act happy, well then that’s another problem. You have to act happy and do what they want and then.... you’re good. If that doesn’t bring empathy in you I don’t know what would. I’m not even touching on those that have a rough life of pain, imagine then.
Doesn’t this create victimization?
This is something that can bridge the gap in all of us. We all have this situation in common. I expect someone to be pleasing, productive, and harmless to me to fuel my survival. They expect me to be pleasing, productive, and harmless to fuel theirs. No victimization here. We are all in the same boat against an ocean we don’t want to sink in.
But the problem is those that become dangerous, you can’t be empathetic with someone that becomes a threat, can you?
I’ve dealt with a situation where I tried to teach the individual about how to treat others, how not to lose self control and in anger hurt those around them. And just recently the individual became aggressive, again. Which at that point after investing of my time in the individual, and then becoming a dangerous situation, it is my turn to remove myself from that situation for my own safety. Remember if you’re 100% selfless you are risking your life, a healthy dose of selfishness is necessary to stay alive. I can understand where the behavior comes from, I can attempt to help, but if nothing can be done then action must be taken so the individual does not hurt anyone. It is a sad situation when things get out of hand, but I think that survival is survival. We can be empathetic yet still have regard for our safety and the safety of those around us.
What is your dream world?
One where everyone could just laugh together. Where everyone felt accepted, included, and understood. One where besides from becoming a threat, everyone was heard and thought well of because they aren’t wanting to hurt anyone. But you see, I myself have to try to attempt to be this person. I myself have to try to show more empathy and not quickly label, shun, and think bad of others. It is I that I should work on first before I even fathom of wishing this on others. But most definitely, a world where everyone felt at ease, and not afraid that the second they turn their back all that occurs is mocking and ridicule. I think collectively we are taking steps in that direction though, as a people we are becoming so much more aware that prejudice is dissipating, in comparison to years past. It is very encouraging to see how we are making progress towards treating one another with a level of kindness, respect, and consideration.
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SW-User
I think it's only selfish if you wanted to change them to suit yourself and you walked away when it didn't work. If you think you've got nothing to gain from their transformation then there's nothing selfish or unselfish about giving up or trying to help them.
I think that if you judge someone as lacking empathy it's best to keep a safe distance emotionally while you're trying to be there for them.
If you didn't do that it's very important you be selfish and move away so that you or others who rely on you aren't hurt. Hurting yourself knowingly isn't moral for similar reasons. The damage can be greater.
