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I Question Reality

I feel like I have 2 minds. I'm a logical person but then there's this other part of me that believes things that either can't logically be true or there's at least no evidence for it. Sometimes I wonder if the only thing keeping me from completely giving in to these alleged delusions is because of my logical side.

But that doesn't stop me from feeling like this isn't reality. And I feel like I just have to do something big to break out, something I wouldn't normally do and that there's no coming back from. It doesn't have to be huge, like murder (although I think that would work), I'd do something like what I nearly did one day. I was standing in my mums house, I picked up a little angel statue thing and was going to throw it through the glass door. That's not something I'd normally do and therefore will enable me to break free, because it's an act that shows I know for a fact that this isn't real. If it was real, I wouldn't have done that.
So why didn't I actually do it? Because my logical side knows there's no proof and that what I'm thinking is ridiculous. But... I also know that if I did it, I'd see that I was right. When I couldn't go through with it, I was angry at myself.

I also think about killing myself a lot but I'm too much of a coward for that.
Daffodil · F
I want to know you.
Redstar · 36-40, M
@Daffodil Hey.
How's it going?

 
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