I Should Try Harder

I'm going to try harder with my longest partner. He wants to be monogamous again and I kinda get it. I want to stay with him and I've got a new understanding of us from doing polyamory. I am going to put a lot more effort in and try to fix this more. He matters more to me than anything else I've found. I think he loves me more than anyone else too. I'm a bit shooken up though. For about an hour the other day we decided to break up. It was an eye opener, I don't know what made him want to or agree. I'm still a bit freaked out. It was a terrifying. It was like this guy I thought would never want to leave was ok with it if I was and it kinda was off feeling. Like I didn't know that he could feel that way. Now I am a bit off feeling.