Gumnaam · 31-35, M
Walk away from him as he did on you N your family.
Apathy is the true opposite of love. Not hate. Hate is love gone wrong. Apathy is the true opposite emotion. In hate, you still invest yourself in that person. In apathy there is complete divestment of self ..
SomeMichGuy · M
Wow...@sundazzled...I had no idea of this very hard, poignant path. Years ago, a psychologist I met talked about how teen girls want their fathers' assurance that they are going to be ok--pretty enough, etc., but wanting their fathers to give their stamp of approval, their imprimatur on their trajectory and projected end-state as a full-fledged woman.
I am sorry that he was so NOT up to dealing more openly with the situation, and esp. for breaking off relations with his clearly-amazing daughter.
I am glad you have gotten over it. I have told a few people on this site, others with pain from how they were treated, that allowing those people in the past to continue to inflict their pain on you...well, that only allows them to take away your NOW *and* your TOMORROW, as well as your THEN...which GIVES them power & lets them win / abuse you day after day.
You figured this out, which is a HUGE step. You took back your power and shut him up in the *past*, and, by doing so, you DENY him the power over your present & future, every day.
I wish everyone could be as strong as you are; I am thankful for your strength. I think you should write a book about this because of how inspiring & helpful & healing it could be.
I am so glad for you. You are an amazing person.
And you turned out just fine, already. 😊
I am sorry that he was so NOT up to dealing more openly with the situation, and esp. for breaking off relations with his clearly-amazing daughter.
I am glad you have gotten over it. I have told a few people on this site, others with pain from how they were treated, that allowing those people in the past to continue to inflict their pain on you...well, that only allows them to take away your NOW *and* your TOMORROW, as well as your THEN...which GIVES them power & lets them win / abuse you day after day.
You figured this out, which is a HUGE step. You took back your power and shut him up in the *past*, and, by doing so, you DENY him the power over your present & future, every day.
I wish everyone could be as strong as you are; I am thankful for your strength. I think you should write a book about this because of how inspiring & helpful & healing it could be.
I am so glad for you. You are an amazing person.
And you turned out just fine, already. 😊
bert199 · 51-55, M
My heart is breaking reading this. As a father to the most amazing seven-year-old daughter in the world, I can tell you firsthand, there is nothing like the bond between the daddy and his little girl. He doesn’t know what he’s missing. He’s made a terrible mistake. But you keep your chin up. I know it weighs on you. When you date men, Avoid the man who were looking for the next best thing. Because there isn’t ever an end to the next best thing. He needs to be into you and love you inside and out. You got this :-)
Bluesky1962 · 61-69, M
to add to my reply,,,,,same here,dad only paid child support 4 times growing up,plus he adopted his 2nd wifes 2 kids,you guessed it,they came before us,,,,,
TheotherAndy · 41-45, M
I never knew my father. My mother kept her pregnancy from him until I was born, placed for adoption and they broke up. He has no idea I exist
Carazaa · F
@TheotherAndy 😪
TheotherAndy · 41-45, M
I learned about it all later in life, in my early 30s@Carazaa
As a dad, I can't imagine how anyone could leave their children and never see them again, so sorry that this happened to you 🤗

SW-User
Beautifully written...same thing happened to me and my daughter but we learned he died on the streets several years ago. ✨Karma✨
I felt the same, and then he died.
He didn't raise me, he abandoned me but when he died it felt like a piece of me did too...I did not expect that
He didn't raise me, he abandoned me but when he died it felt like a piece of me did too...I did not expect that
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Skilllickous · 51-55, M
my heart goes out yo you. stay strong 💪🏻
mainvane · 61-69, M
my father left us too...when I was 8
wuiop2 · 41-45
I agree (though I have not been through what you have been through). You have a very mature outlook on this, and while I am deeply sorry that he did this to you, it truly is his loss.
EagleV · 51-55, M
I completely understand. My dad was a POS she not only left my mom with 3 children, he beat her mercilessly. I lived in California at the time of his death, and all my family, him included were on the East coast. I was looked down in by my grand mother when I refused to even talk to him on his death bed or come back for his funeral. He wasn't a man, and I learned from him that I never wanted to be anything like him.
Julianking · M
That was very well said, be strong, it was not your fault, so I hope you do not feel you are to blame. Keep moving forward and live your life.
luctoretemergo · 61-69, M
Wait till your even older....it will always be a scar to be sure but as the anger and resentment fades, he’ll matter less and less and less. They create us but don’t define us- remember that!
Gforce1163 · 61-69, M
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I don’t have kids but I can’t imagine doing something like that.
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SW-User
Do you like to know where he is and would like to meet him.
Bluesky1962 · 61-69, M
neither did i,he passed away last year,but not much there
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Montanaman · M
@SW-User September, 2019...

SW-User
It is natural for you to get angry because he disowned you and I agree with you 100 percent.
Carazaa · F
Give him a chance if he comes back. But maybe he died or your Mom lied. You wont know until you talk to him.

SW-User
@Carazaa Very reasonable, a second chance.
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Pretzel · 70-79, M
that's a very mature outlook - sorry this happened to you
Montanaman · M
😔😔🤗🤗 I'm sorry. I have a daughter with whom we are estranged 😔😥
IWasCallingYaLarry · 31-35, M
I don't have a relationship with my dad, either. I don't even talk to him.
Sujbftihe · F
So sorry!
TexasOutlawTrey · M
I never really knew my dad.he died when I was 2
MrAverage1965 · 61-69, M
It's so sad to hear you do not have a relationship with your father. I hope you are able to put it behind you.
QuietEd2019 · 31-35, M
Aww wow sweetheart I am really sorry your Dad did that to you completely wrote himself out of your life 😥😥😥 much love darling ❤️❤️❤️
vetguy1991 · 51-55, M
He missed out on seeing you grow up
Pdad49 · M
Sorry for your pain!

SW-User
Sorry
Dan193 · 31-35, M
cool
justbob · 61-69, M
It must have been hard on you.
xixgun · M
Mine's dead, so I don't either.
funfan · 51-55, M
Awwwww... I'm so sad to hear that about your dad being so worthless. I am so lucky to have an awesome dad, although he has become quite racist in his old age. Let's discuss all that soon in messaging.
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
Your mother should sue his ass for child support. Him being in another state means nothing. Go on a cruise and send him post cards from each port.
sundazzled · 22-25, F
@Keepitsimple I have to say my mom did everything she could.
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
@sundazzled I’m not a man hater. Fathers have rights and all but my father sucked. We froze our asses off. My grandmother always brought food for us and my mother worked 3 jobs. He constantly bounced his CS checks when he “caught up”. He never paid a red cent for anything, not shoes or a shirt as he thought his lousy $100 a week for 2 kids made my mom rich. She should get a lawyer and get the back child support or let his ass rot in jail.
ineedadrink · 51-55, M
What a piece of shit. No matter what you don't abandon your kids. I think you're probably pretty wise in not getting upset over him but damn, I don't know how you can't be.
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496sbc · 36-40, M
sounds like a fuckin scumbag to me.