I Feel Nothing

Its 3:53 am and I feel empty as always .Feeling numbness always just waiting ...From my earliest childhood memory to now it's always been about analysing situations and thinking things through . I remember as a child my mother telling me she loved me any instant reaction was trying to understand what love was .From parent to child love to romantic love and wondering if there was any other type of affection I didn't know about . Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I don't like my mother cause I do . I think she's great and wonderful and I wanted nothing but the best for her .
I'm always just have this feeling like I'm sitting down on the ground leaning on a war waiting but in the meantime observing .
I don't mind it really I don't I mean what else is there to do .
The Only emotion I can say I truly feel is anger but that rarely happens . It's string enough to drip through my walls of nothingness and break the silent . However I can count on one hand how many times I have been angry it's very little . Annoyance too that's because I'm highly observant which could be seen as a curse . I'm handle it well and let it pass in a healthy way cause I'm a peaceful person even at my angriest .
Over all I want a life full of great ppl and good vibes . Where we can contribute to each others growth and well being .