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My Next Life by George Carlin:

I want to live my next life backward-... You start out dead and get that out
of the way.

Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. Then you get
kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your
pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work
40 years until you're too young to work.

You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally
promiscuous.


Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no
responsibilities. Then you become a baby, and then... You spend your last 9
months floating peacefully in Spa-like conditions - Central heating, room
service on tap, and then...

You finish off as an orgasm.



I rest my case.