I Want to Talk About the Grieving Process
Early this morning, I got a call from one of my daughters. She had to take her cat to the vet because he was ill, and didn't want to be alone, if it was bad news.
He is a very fluffy, longhair cat. He's never been a cuddly cat, so you just guess at his weight by sight. A few days ago, my daughter had to move him from his favourite place on the window sill so she could wash the window. When she lifted him she noticed he felt flimsy. So, today we went to the vet. The vet remarked that he has no muscle or fat left and this means that something is eating at him; likely cancer. She told us that she will run some tests, but only to assure my daughter that there really isn't anymore to be done.
The thing I like best about this vet, is that she doesn't charge for tests that are simply to confirm that the cat, or dog, or whatever it is, cannot be saved. I've been taking all my pets to her for 21 years and she is very good, compassionate, but will not hold out hope where she fears there is none.
After we left him there for the tests and came home, I got a text from my daughter saying she is so sad. She is in deep grieving right now because she believes he will need to be euthanized.
I told her that I know how much this is hurting her and that if I could bear this sorrow for her, I would. She told me that she knows that, but she wouldn't want me to. This is something she needs to feel.
THIS SORROW IS BECAUSE OF HER LOVE FOR HIM. SHE WOULDN'T WANT TO AVOID IT
I have never thought about grief in that way before. Grief comes from love. It's that simple. We mourn our loss, but at the end of it, we celebrate the love that is the reason for our profound sorrow upon the loss of the loved one.
He is a very fluffy, longhair cat. He's never been a cuddly cat, so you just guess at his weight by sight. A few days ago, my daughter had to move him from his favourite place on the window sill so she could wash the window. When she lifted him she noticed he felt flimsy. So, today we went to the vet. The vet remarked that he has no muscle or fat left and this means that something is eating at him; likely cancer. She told us that she will run some tests, but only to assure my daughter that there really isn't anymore to be done.
The thing I like best about this vet, is that she doesn't charge for tests that are simply to confirm that the cat, or dog, or whatever it is, cannot be saved. I've been taking all my pets to her for 21 years and she is very good, compassionate, but will not hold out hope where she fears there is none.
After we left him there for the tests and came home, I got a text from my daughter saying she is so sad. She is in deep grieving right now because she believes he will need to be euthanized.
I told her that I know how much this is hurting her and that if I could bear this sorrow for her, I would. She told me that she knows that, but she wouldn't want me to. This is something she needs to feel.
THIS SORROW IS BECAUSE OF HER LOVE FOR HIM. SHE WOULDN'T WANT TO AVOID IT
I have never thought about grief in that way before. Grief comes from love. It's that simple. We mourn our loss, but at the end of it, we celebrate the love that is the reason for our profound sorrow upon the loss of the loved one.
