going crazy because of them
i havebt visited them in ages modtly because i dont wanan go to my hometown because i get bullied a lot there. but my family also drives me insane as they expect and want things from me that i could never give them. as it wasnt enough that they ruined my life with the type of education they gave me they do expect me to take care of them in their old age which is just so fucking far fetched i dont know how they are capable of holding such big egos.
refering to my aunts mostly. she keeps going on about how they are getting old and its gona be up to me to take care of them. she knows what place i am in ans have been for all my life. they stole my life. i have no friends no job. i live in a place i hate from the bottom of my heart and i neevr talk about these things never. because i dont want to bother anyone but i do mention when they start demanding things.
they know however , because its pretty obvious, and because it shows through my everyday life, that im and have been enormously depresssed since my teens and that the onky way for me to get better is moving to another country wherr people accept homosexuals better and transexuals.
nonetheless the only approach they have to this is of self pity and pity to me and act like im a loser and the only good thkng incan do for myself is dedicate my shitty life to taking care of them. as for my sister she has a boyfriend a job and shes pregnant so they dont even mention her anymore because she 'earned it' is entiteled to have a life. becauss shes straight of course. and because shes happy and confident. but since im in this disgusting state im like a free food in the supermarket lets see who gets it first..so this is family for you.
eveyday a pity party because she fell and because shes sick in her legs. i say my head is burned i have mental illness that will eat me alive.. what no , mental.illness gets cured.. u regenerate it. thats all she says to me and then moves on to talking about her and how she needs me and how i am a horrible unthankful person for not being there.
refering to my aunts mostly. she keeps going on about how they are getting old and its gona be up to me to take care of them. she knows what place i am in ans have been for all my life. they stole my life. i have no friends no job. i live in a place i hate from the bottom of my heart and i neevr talk about these things never. because i dont want to bother anyone but i do mention when they start demanding things.
they know however , because its pretty obvious, and because it shows through my everyday life, that im and have been enormously depresssed since my teens and that the onky way for me to get better is moving to another country wherr people accept homosexuals better and transexuals.
nonetheless the only approach they have to this is of self pity and pity to me and act like im a loser and the only good thkng incan do for myself is dedicate my shitty life to taking care of them. as for my sister she has a boyfriend a job and shes pregnant so they dont even mention her anymore because she 'earned it' is entiteled to have a life. becauss shes straight of course. and because shes happy and confident. but since im in this disgusting state im like a free food in the supermarket lets see who gets it first..so this is family for you.
eveyday a pity party because she fell and because shes sick in her legs. i say my head is burned i have mental illness that will eat me alive.. what no , mental.illness gets cured.. u regenerate it. thats all she says to me and then moves on to talking about her and how she needs me and how i am a horrible unthankful person for not being there.
31-35, T
