I Need Help
How do you help someone with severe clinical depression when you're part of the problem it exists in the first place?
31-35, M
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Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F
Encourage them to seek medical help and counseling. Not everyone can handle fighting this illness with someone...even when you love them. Please know that just your being supportive and loving them is sometimes all you can do and that's okay. When we are in a dark place there is really nothing any of our loved ones can do "fix" us...just being a presence and, as you said, giving them a safe place and comfort, speaks volumes to a struggling soul.
Foreboding · 31-35, M
Thank you for this, Pinkstarburst. The way in which we discovered each other was them bravely reaching out when they really needed a friend. Over time it developed into them sharing a lot more and revealing many of the things that have led to this depression. I feel privileged that I've been allowed to be so close to somebody who is so private. As they've allowed me to be a part of their world, the crushing loneliness and despair has become so apparent and I really resonate with it. It's spurred me on to become someone who can try and be there, but I admit that over time it's dragged me right down to their level and I'm struggling to cope with my own feelings as well as trying to be supporting of theirs. I want this person to seek medical guidance and I'll be there as much as they need me for support. Hopefully at the end of the journey we can emerge a lot stronger with a new found love for our friendship and relationship, and maybe even some optimism!
firefall · 61-69, M
If they have severe clinical depression, the cause is an imbalance in brain chemistry, not you. You might at most have been a proximate trigger for the imbalance. You help them by getting them to a doctor for treatment (primarily chemical in nature), encouraging them to take the pills, set up a routine that helps them maintain that, and to go to any recommended therapy.
Foreboding · 31-35, M
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SW-User
@Foreboding: ask them what they need
Do practical things with them
Don't expect anything, just sit with them
Have tea
Play cards
Let them know you are there
Do practical things with them
Don't expect anything, just sit with them
Have tea
Play cards
Let them know you are there
Foreboding · 31-35, M
@InOtterWords: Oh Christ, that solution opens up a whole other can of worms entirely, but I think that's best saved for another story.
You're right, a physical reassuring presence is needed without any pressure from either side. Thank you!
PS - your username = Genius.
You're right, a physical reassuring presence is needed without any pressure from either side. Thank you!
PS - your username = Genius.
Razoreye001 · 31-35, M
Foreboding · 31-35, M
Hi Memetic. I feel I've come across wrong in my experience. This person has never blamed me for anything and deep down I know they appreciate me being there to try even if I fail a lot and can't always be the shoulder they need. I simply feel responsible because I'm meant to be the person they can turn to when they're in their most desperate need, but I feel the need outweighs what I'm capable of.
Foreboding · 31-35, M
I think there's always been huge underlying causes but I now know that I'm also not the right person to help. I thought I was for a long time but I'm neither qualified nor able to provide a real solution. All I can do is provide comfort and a safe place when I can, but that really just masks the underlying problems, not solves them.
Thank you, MissNotes.
Thank you, MissNotes.