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I Want to Be a Woman

Every time I try to suppress my feelings of wanting and wishing I was a woman, they come back stronger than before, I've tried numerous times to suppress these feelings and it never seems to work, and it feels like the older I get, the stronger the desires and feelings become also, I have been wanting to become a woman for so long now, and I have dreamt about becoming a woman ever since I was a little boy. I have known it is what I have always wanted in life and have thought about it for so long, I know once it is done to me, there will be no way to go back and I have come to terms with the fact that it is irreversible and I am perfectly fine with that, i only wish it would happen sooner than later and wish I didn't need the whole year thing to make sure I've made the right choice, I know deep down it is the right choice for me and if I could do it tomorrow I WOULD without a doubt, without thinking and NO 2ND THOUGHTS, I so want to become a woman NOW, sometimes the feelings and desires are so strong it drives me bonkers.
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I have been having trouble sleeping tonight, it is still so strong on my mind about how much I WANT TO BE A WOMAN, tonight it feels stronger than ever and I want it more than ever right now, don't know what to do, I think about how wonderful it would be and how permanent the surgery is and it excites me to the point I have trouble sleeping because I never have wanted anything as bad as I want to finally become a woman. Finally being free and happy with having the surgery to finally become the complete woman I am, finally having the vagina would be all worth it.