I Struggle With Mental Illness
If you met me in person, you'd probably know how kind I am. I do not like speaking bad about people, and I'm always forgiving (which sometimes is a curse but thats another story). But in todays post I want to forget about goodness, I just want to speak the truth.
I'll never forget the way his strength felt against my skin, the way it hurt, the way each touch would burn a piece of my soul. I'll never forget the look in his eyes, so full of hatred and misery. He stunned me with that look, that god forsaken look that now keeps me awake at night, and haunts me when I sleep. To be a victim of somebody else's pain, is worse than experiencing pain yourself. The worst part was, I had to live in silence and be the only person who knew how severe it was.
I was abused by my older brother (by 10 years) for 21 years. It became my lifestyle, who I was. In this day and age, we have a lot of mental health awareness and support, trying to tackle the stigma. We encourage understanding for those who are mentally ill, and its discriminatory to express any opposing views. But what about the victims of mental illness? Those who live around someone who is mentally unstable and must fight the battles of the person with the illness. He had mental problems, and my parents, as well as everyone around me, forced me to get over it, because he was "mentally ill". Thats the world we live in. We find any excuse we can to make sense of our hardships, rather than actually accept them as abnormal and seek help.
I struggle with mental illness. Not from myself, but being abused by someone who had one.
I'll never forget the way his strength felt against my skin, the way it hurt, the way each touch would burn a piece of my soul. I'll never forget the look in his eyes, so full of hatred and misery. He stunned me with that look, that god forsaken look that now keeps me awake at night, and haunts me when I sleep. To be a victim of somebody else's pain, is worse than experiencing pain yourself. The worst part was, I had to live in silence and be the only person who knew how severe it was.
I was abused by my older brother (by 10 years) for 21 years. It became my lifestyle, who I was. In this day and age, we have a lot of mental health awareness and support, trying to tackle the stigma. We encourage understanding for those who are mentally ill, and its discriminatory to express any opposing views. But what about the victims of mental illness? Those who live around someone who is mentally unstable and must fight the battles of the person with the illness. He had mental problems, and my parents, as well as everyone around me, forced me to get over it, because he was "mentally ill". Thats the world we live in. We find any excuse we can to make sense of our hardships, rather than actually accept them as abnormal and seek help.
I struggle with mental illness. Not from myself, but being abused by someone who had one.
22-25, F
