I Feel So Tired
Not sleepy tired....
just physically exhausted....
i work so many hrs every day, with so little time to myself ....
up early every day
and late to bed each night...
only ever get the occasional Sunday off...
been the story of my last couple of years... But lately, every spare hour is taken up with stuff to do....
moms each day
.and yeah... Ive tried to make her do things...and she says she's happy with me doing things as they are....
i tell her im tired...all she says is "me too"
she wont have others in the house...after the fiasco of dads carers stealing money, and wrecking the carpets, and breaking the shower basin...
so it looks like its down to me for the rest of her life...
you know what bothers me???
im 46...
she could live another 25 years yet.....
that takes me round till im 70 ...
i cant do it... Just don't know what other options there are...
and my work place seems to be getting less and less staff....each time one person leaves, they never recruit anyone to replace em....
i cant live without the money...
i need it ...
i also run a small business...
but things ain't as good as they have been in previous years... The economic downturn has affected the amount of spare cash people have to spend on luxury items such as new tvs and surround sound equipment..
i work so hard every day...and yet, scrap from one day to the next...
i can hardly find the effort to climb outta bed some mornings....
after the compulsory 5 hrs sleep, if im lucky....
day after day
week after week..
year......after year....
the thought of never having a another holiday....
the thought of working for the next 20+ years
and looking round moms every day...
ive tried to leave mom for a day...she just leaves every thing for me to do in my next visit
...so ive got twice as much to do......
lord knows ...
just somehow, gotta put one foot in front of the other.....
and keep on ....pressing on...
in a forwardly direction....
i don't mean to go on...
but
..
i just feel so damn tired.......
just physically exhausted....
i work so many hrs every day, with so little time to myself ....
up early every day
and late to bed each night...
only ever get the occasional Sunday off...
been the story of my last couple of years... But lately, every spare hour is taken up with stuff to do....
moms each day
.and yeah... Ive tried to make her do things...and she says she's happy with me doing things as they are....
i tell her im tired...all she says is "me too"
she wont have others in the house...after the fiasco of dads carers stealing money, and wrecking the carpets, and breaking the shower basin...
so it looks like its down to me for the rest of her life...
you know what bothers me???
im 46...
she could live another 25 years yet.....
that takes me round till im 70 ...
i cant do it... Just don't know what other options there are...
and my work place seems to be getting less and less staff....each time one person leaves, they never recruit anyone to replace em....
i cant live without the money...
i need it ...
i also run a small business...
but things ain't as good as they have been in previous years... The economic downturn has affected the amount of spare cash people have to spend on luxury items such as new tvs and surround sound equipment..
i work so hard every day...and yet, scrap from one day to the next...
i can hardly find the effort to climb outta bed some mornings....
after the compulsory 5 hrs sleep, if im lucky....
day after day
week after week..
year......after year....
the thought of never having a another holiday....
the thought of working for the next 20+ years
and looking round moms every day...
ive tried to leave mom for a day...she just leaves every thing for me to do in my next visit
...so ive got twice as much to do......
lord knows ...
just somehow, gotta put one foot in front of the other.....
and keep on ....pressing on...
in a forwardly direction....
i don't mean to go on...
but
..
i just feel so damn tired.......
