I Hate Bossy and Controlling People
Her Bf Had The Grapes To End Our Years-Long Friendship... I had this friendship w/this girl for about 3 years. I know she cared about me and I was there for her during some dark and difficult times.
Well, one day, in the days before I had call display, I get this call and my "hello" answered with "who is this?" Wuddyou mean "who is this?" You called me, that's my line. And that's what I said: "I think that's my line." Instead of giving a slightly nervous apology, for breaking 100 years of telephone etiquette and identifying himself, he comes back w/"no, I found your number on my gf's phone..." Phhhtt... up yours, bub! So I hung up on him, and when the phone rang again, I just lifted the receiver and dropped it again.
See, this guy had been boinking her for, what, a month? Well, his intimidation of me didn't work, so he got her to tell me she hated me and even called me a *pervert*! Unfortunately, she had a daddy-shaped void in her, and needed someone very patronizing (in this case, a man who was so insecure that he was a control freak). He, being her bf, gave her that comfort, which I couldn't. If she didn't do as he said, she feared losing that comfort. Thus, the very tragic end to our friendship.
This was humiliating to me. He saw me as a threat, since I was a guy and he probably assumes that all guys want to boink his woman, which, for my part, was completely untrue. However, because he attacked me w/the designs of a jealous lover, I felt as bad as I would have, if I was in love w/her and she snubbed me. I was humiliated.
And you can tell just how humiliated by the way I acted later. Sometime later, they got married and I posted some very nasty rants on her wall anonymously. I knew she would figure out who I was, but her husband, being as dumb as dirt and prone to easily misunderstand me, wouldn't figure it out. Furthermore, the uncertainty would bug the *hell* out of him! I was right. The way he tried to insult me and stick the knife in and turn it was just hilarious! Mission accomplished.
She had a very different reaction. Rather than dig her heels in and try to get under my skin, I could tell she felt very bad.
I wasn't ready to feel bad. Eventually, though, I went over our old correspondence--that was my time for feeling bad. I decided I should send her flowers with an apology of my own, again anonymously and again, I knew she'd know from whom. The only thing I heard is that her husband kept trying to get the florist to tell him who sent them. I can only assume that she figured out what it was all about, cried a little and is now at peace. I still care about you Karyssa and want you have a happy life.
That slight digression aside, the moral of the story is: don't trust control freaks! Maybe that arrogance gives you some hollow security, but it's ba<x>sed on insecurity. You want someone who's confident enough *not* to be controlling.
Well, one day, in the days before I had call display, I get this call and my "hello" answered with "who is this?" Wuddyou mean "who is this?" You called me, that's my line. And that's what I said: "I think that's my line." Instead of giving a slightly nervous apology, for breaking 100 years of telephone etiquette and identifying himself, he comes back w/"no, I found your number on my gf's phone..." Phhhtt... up yours, bub! So I hung up on him, and when the phone rang again, I just lifted the receiver and dropped it again.
See, this guy had been boinking her for, what, a month? Well, his intimidation of me didn't work, so he got her to tell me she hated me and even called me a *pervert*! Unfortunately, she had a daddy-shaped void in her, and needed someone very patronizing (in this case, a man who was so insecure that he was a control freak). He, being her bf, gave her that comfort, which I couldn't. If she didn't do as he said, she feared losing that comfort. Thus, the very tragic end to our friendship.
This was humiliating to me. He saw me as a threat, since I was a guy and he probably assumes that all guys want to boink his woman, which, for my part, was completely untrue. However, because he attacked me w/the designs of a jealous lover, I felt as bad as I would have, if I was in love w/her and she snubbed me. I was humiliated.
And you can tell just how humiliated by the way I acted later. Sometime later, they got married and I posted some very nasty rants on her wall anonymously. I knew she would figure out who I was, but her husband, being as dumb as dirt and prone to easily misunderstand me, wouldn't figure it out. Furthermore, the uncertainty would bug the *hell* out of him! I was right. The way he tried to insult me and stick the knife in and turn it was just hilarious! Mission accomplished.
She had a very different reaction. Rather than dig her heels in and try to get under my skin, I could tell she felt very bad.
I wasn't ready to feel bad. Eventually, though, I went over our old correspondence--that was my time for feeling bad. I decided I should send her flowers with an apology of my own, again anonymously and again, I knew she'd know from whom. The only thing I heard is that her husband kept trying to get the florist to tell him who sent them. I can only assume that she figured out what it was all about, cried a little and is now at peace. I still care about you Karyssa and want you have a happy life.
That slight digression aside, the moral of the story is: don't trust control freaks! Maybe that arrogance gives you some hollow security, but it's ba<x>sed on insecurity. You want someone who's confident enough *not* to be controlling.
46-50, M
